Jesus fucking christ. I was raised by an horrifically abusive woman that i haven’t had contact with in a decade and even she didn’t pull this shit.
I don’t understand why people like this go out of their way to have children. Then again, it’s also Quora, where landlords routinely scheme about how to screw over tenants and/or leech the most money out of them
i wonder if that alone is enough to get child protective services involved. taking away privacy is a human rights violation.
In the U.S., doubt it. My door was taken away at 14 for sneaking out of the house one night and I only got it back a month before graduating high school because my dads girlfriend called him out on it. I honestly wasnt a bad kid growing up. Other than literally a few stupid moments, including the sneaking out, I was normally that sterotypical straight A honor student that kept to themselves.
American children do not have human rights til age 18
They have them briefly for 9 months, as a tease, then they rawdogg it for 18 yrs
18 years if they are white and well-off.j
They aren’t children til the end of those months though.
Depends on who you ask
Someone not in a cult who does not believe in wizards.
This is more difficult. Not everyone who’s pro-choice thinks an unborn child is not a child. The child/fetus thing is arbitrary and can be discussed forever. Pro-choice people agree that it shouldn’t limit rights of women in any case, though.
Okay that’s a pretty okay answer.
But are you in any cults and how do you feel about wizards?
I had my door taken away as a teenager and I turned out fine /s
Also had my door taken away when I was 14 and didnt get it back until a month before graduating high school. My dad is honestly bewildered as to why I dont feel the need to call, text, or visit.
You should send him a picture of a different door for each holiday you choose to spend without him.
You are coping
Can’t be taking away privacy if they have none in the first place. tap tap head
Need to ask The Doors.
Let’s go to the source, Aldous Huxley
People are strange.
this is the end… of this thread, my friend.
Father, yes son, I want to keeeeel yewww
Enjoy being able to see or speak to her for two more years I guess.
Exactly.
They don’t care about the cause they are promoting. They say these things as strategy. It’s about utilizing peoples emotions to encourage them and lead them, regardless of side. It gaslights the left and they want that. It emboldens the right extremism and they want that. It divides and occupies the minds of people creating pawns that do work for them, even if that work is just talking about and “fighting against” it. It’s all just social manipulation. …because they know exactly how to socially guide and manipulate. They know the typical responses they will get from people and can utilize each response for their cause.
Wrong post, lol
Wrong post, lol
I don’t know which post you meant that for, but to me, it seems to make pretty good sense with this one.
I got so confused until I read the last part 😂
wrong thread, but well said!
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I lost my door as a child several times but it was always for slamming it when I was upset.
In hindsight I feel it was reasonable but it’s all in how it’s done. I’d lose it for a couple days to a week at most and only after being warned.
For me it was also pre-puberty/young adult years, when I was 8-10 years old.
It doesn’ matter why or how long for this is still a fcuking insane act that’s weirdly normalised in the US. You guys are not ok.
This was 30+ years ago so I disagree. It doesn’t mean it was right but it’s easy to judge past actions in current day context.
As a parent I would just install a door closer in this case. Yes, it is kinda ridiculous. But the kid still has a door.
Parents would have to know about it and how to install it
People who don’t know how to use a screwdriver should not be screwing.
You’ll find the people least fit to screw, screw the most
This makes sense to me too. Get one of those soft close mechanisms and add it to the door so it can’t be slammed.
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If “my parents did it to me and I turned out fine” was your takeaway from my comment then I failed to communicate my point or you misunderstood, or both. It was more that context and circumstances also need to be considered. I did turn out ok, I think, but that’s because of a lot of work I put in during my adulthood to really work on my growth and reflect on my behavior continuously to learn and grow.
As a difficult child who did not handle their emotions well I would slam my door when I got upset and was warned repeatedly not to or I would lose it. Then when I didn’t listen and slammed it anyway I would suffer the consequences of my actions but only for a short period. It was fundamentally no different than having a toy or privilege taken away.
My parents also spanked me but I would never do that if I had children because I know it doesn’t work. My parents did make mistakes and they, my mom at least directly, have acknowledged that and voiced their regret.
In OPs example it’s out of line to take a door away because they are 16 years old and don’t seem to be using it as an appropriate consequence for the child’s actions. As an 8-10 year old child who also put their foot through a wall twice in the same spot, threw a ping pong paddle at their brother so hard it put a hole in the wall, and would slam the door so hard it would shake pictures on the wall being warned of the consequence of my continued misbehavior and then facing those consequences was, in my opinion, appropriate. I learned not to slam my door and to control my emotions and express them in a more healthy and less destructive way.
I’m sure there are other, some maybe better, techniques however we all learn from the mistakes of our parents so we can screw our children up in new and unique ways while avoiding what they did.
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Just because it makes sense to you doesn’t mean it’s a sensible idea.
Just because it doesn’t make sense to you doesn’t mean it’s not a sensible idea.
It has been studied and behavioral health experts advise against it.
The same behavioral experts I was taken to by my parents? The ones who helped them implement a “family contract” that resulted in one of the most miserable parts of my childhood? The “family contract” that made me resent my parents for many years?
Maybe, just maybe, behavioral health experts are a reflection of the times and their society and because it’s fallen out of favor doesn’t mean it’s bad or doesn’t work, just that it’s not accepted practice any longer.
Unlike you I didn’t make a statement of fact without supporting evidence. I offered up my own, personal, direct experience and how it affected me along with my opinion that context and situation should be a consideration.
I laugh if you think taking away video games or no tv would have worked to stop me from slamming the door. Unsurprisingly, of all the things my parents tried, removing the door so I couldn’t slam it was the effective solution.
I get you dude. Sometimes you you do things with a kid with special needs you don’t do otherwise and to the peanut gallery no, i am not justifying abuse. Just able to realise that sometimes circumstances need adjustment.
For sure. I said this in another comment but I wouldn’t take a door from my kids if they slammed it, I’d just add a slow closer so they can’t and then try to give them other options to vent their physical frustration.
We learn what not to do from our parents and just screw our kids up in new and different ways. You just hope you do a better job than your parents.
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I have reputable studies behind my statement
You have nothing if you don’t provide sources besides a claim that you’ve made. I’ve seen studies too and every one I’ve seen specifically references teenagers. There’s also studies that say “taking something away” doesn’t work, yet you do that by taking away video games.
You’ll notice this article cites their sources.
Bro you were abused and you’re in denial
I wasn’t but I appreciate the diagnosis from someone who read a comment on the internet.
I’ve known parents who removed doors from their kids’ rooms because they don’t want the kid to lock them out.
Not as uncommon as you’d think.
Do their kids still talk to them?
I had friends who’s parents did that when we were kids. They moved as far as they physically could as soon as they turned 18.
Do their kids still talk to them?
Some, yeah. Others, no, but typically for more pronounced reasons.
Really depends on how financially independent the kid managed to get from the parents. You’d be surprised what someone will put up with to stay in a rich family’s good graces, particularly when they themselves failed to launch
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It’s completely idiotic because internal door locks, the kind in the knob, have a little hole that you can use a tool to unlock it from the outside. I think it’s meant for in case of emergency, but the point is they’re trivially easy to unlock.
The parents are more likely control freaks.
You could also just remove the knob and the door still functions for the most part. It’s actually harder to take the whole door off
You can take the door off in like five seconds. Just grab the hinge pins with a pair of pliers and yank them out. Especially if it’s an internal door, because it’s probably hollow (and thus extremely light.) Removing the front door would suck, but only because it’ll be solid.
I removed my daughters door for a week because she wouldn’t stop slamming it, even after having to pay for the second replacement out of her allowance. I hung a blanket across the door frame. She still slams it every once in a while when she’s mad, but no where near as often, and now her door has a lock.
On the outside? Nice.
I definitely think about it sometimes. She can be a spoiled brat sometimes, but I’m told that’s normal for a 16 year old
a window was open in the house and I accidentally shut the door too loudly one time and my door was removed for
weeksmonths (there was no history of me slamming doors, I think punishment for the sake of punishment was the point)no privacy for changing, sleeping, etc. - it was stressful
EDIT: I just remembered it was more than weeks, it was months - I had journal entries about wondering when I would ever get my door back.
I had no knowledge of how common grounding by door removal was until today
The first thing my mom did when we moved into our house when I was 8 was take my door off it’s hinges. It wasn’t even a punishment, I just wasn’t allowed to have one, i just got a curtain. My dad installed a door on my room when I was 17, two weeks before I moved away for college, because it was about to become the guest room, and wouldn’t it be weird if the guest room didn’t have a door?
To be fair, the door removal punishment would have been considered authoritarian / strict / extreme, it was chosen by a step-parent, my birth parents would never have punished me that way (even though they did use corporal punishment on me when I was young, they in general weren’t that “strict” or authoritarian as parents).
I know parents who removed the door from their kid’s room because she was playing with matches in her room.
I mean, I’d have removed the matches.
The Russians used a pencil.
Which coincindentally burn, so NASA made non-flammable pens to save lives, which even the Russians now use, cuz there are no fire departments in space.
That part was overlooked in the email forward 30 years ago! Good point! What direction does a naked flame burn in zero gravity anyway?
Seems to form an orb.
Fuck yeah! Thanks for that, something I always wondered about, even cooler to see it in a vid
matches? back when fun was actually allowed in chemistry kits, you’d be making full on IEDs in your bedroom
I was a bit too safety conscious to do that in my bedroom.
Went to the chemistry lab to do that.
Yea my parents did that. I didn’t want to spend time with them because they were abusive assholes (why yes, CPS were called!), but apparently that meant there was something wrong with me, so they took the door off my room so I couldn’t have a safe space from the constant screaming and violence. Guess who swung hard Trumpy antivaxx Q believers in 2016?
Did they also punch a hole in the wall when it was hot instead of opening a window? Locks can be removed from doors.
My parents just ensured the lock on the door knob had a slit on the outside so you could stick anything in there and rotate to unlock it. Half the time, they just used a long fingernail or the edge of a coin. It didn’t require much effort.
They’d still get mad at me for locking my bedroom door and would threaten to remove the door if I kept locking it, but it took them maybe 10 seconds to open it without tools.
They never followed through on the threat; I kept my bedroom door all throughout my childhood.
That is one of the most obvious trolls I’ve ever seen.
Pay attention to the “voices” people use. Someone who actually does something like that is highly unlikely to frame it in such a way. They chose their words very specifically to elicit a desired emotion in the reader.
My parents did this and claimed it was normal and to “ask your friends at school” I did, and they said it was abuse. She didn’t change her mind.
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looks like she needs more a-door-ing parents.
i wish i could personally buy that girl an axe so she can hack to pieces every other door in the entire house so her dipshit parent can experience how much it sucks to not have doors.
If you did then also give her training so she doesn’t take her own limbs off, or worse.
Can we all agree that without context its hard to judge whether a disciplinary action is reasonable or not?
these are probably trolls. At one point quora had a “partner program” where people would get paid to post questions, but only if the questions got enough engagement. The question generators realized that coming up with interesting questions was kind of hard, so they just started pouring out ragebait.
If it’s too obvious people may realize it’s a troll, so the ideal way to do it is phrase it in a vague way that leaves a lot to the imagination (here for example people can easily make the assumption that you’re an idiotic and boneheaded parent)
Where’s the fun in that?
https://images.app.goo.gl/Sh6R4rbsr2bXRnS5A … or, maybe not. :-)
