I take two personal pizzas and cook them normally. I generally use the frozen ones from Costco and use one cheese and one pepperoni. I also have frozen hamburger patties from Kroger but they’re the thin ones. I’m trying to lose weight, after all, so there’s got to be sacrifices made. OK now I have those frozen rectangular hash browns like McDonald’s sells, but mine are from Kroger again. I can generally cook all four items at once in my air fryer which is more of a convection toaster oven kind of deal. Anyway before I ramble on too long, I assemble a “hamburger” using the pizzas as buns and the rest is obvious. Apply mayo and/or American cheese or whatever like that Korean paste they use. Yum. I like to cut mine in half.

Those thin patties are great! This all started because I was tucking a folded one inside a Hot Pocket. You just split open one side and it becomes a literal hot pocket. Do not stick your … oh never mind

ITT: there is evil in all of us.

Wrap it in a tortilla

Remove cheese and scrape off the remaining sauce. Roll what’s left in the cheese. Feed it to your neighbor. By force if necessary. And yes. Throw away the crust. We are not animals.

My father uses a knife and fork to cut off the crust, eat in pieces, and then continues to use the knife and fork. It is so embarrassing whenever we’re out.

You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

infuse it into vegetable glycerine and vape it

When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.

1. Place the plastic table on your nose
2. Remove the crust and lick it like a rabbi at a circumcision
3. Roll pieces 1,3,5 from tip to girth and arrange them into an F shape
4. Roll pieces 2,4,6 from girth to tip and arrange them into a U shape.
5. Thank the pizza guy who is holding the box still, and then slam the door in his face.
6. Continue licking the crust you hid in your pocket, and then dial for another pizza

In a blender

https://youtu.be/H4Hkx3Qa1vY

Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

You throw it away, not eating it.

slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

Uncut, center out from the bottom.

Or

Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.