How would you approach persuading a far extreme conservative toward center? What would you set as a realistic goal for a productive discourse? Would it be better attempt to do so in person rather than online?
it’s funny that the other question about “how would you deprogram an extreme liberal” got so many down votes rather than this one
Because “extreme liberals” push things like equality, respect, social progress and accountability and “extreme conservatives” push bigotry, violence, greed and shit that fixes nothing.
I’d suggest that you start by reading David McRaney’s How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion. You should also look into street epistemology, and Peter Boghossian’s A Manual for Creating Atheists.
First, I think that approaching this with the idea that you’re going to “change them” is probably not the correct approach. Rather, you need to approach it as a conversation where you’re hoping that you can better come to understand each other. Beginning with the idea that you will change them has the a priori assumption that you are morally correct, and that’s not necessarily the case. Is it better to do it in person? Absolutely. You will have a very hard time reaching real understanding online. You’ll need to do is find common ground, ask questions, and really, really listen to them. You need to be able to empathize with them. It’s also worthwhile to ask if they’re open to changing their beliefs, if they find conflicting information. (And ask yourself - are you open to changing your beliefs if facts conflict with what you believe?)
What you need to get at is underlying beliefs and fears, not surface-level stuff. You need to understand that these aren’t issues that can be solved with more factual information, because people will weigh facts through an emotional lens, and will weight things differently than you would to arrive at different conclusions.
On a slight tangent, when you talk about cult de-programming–which is controversial–the important thing to do is to utterly separate a cult victim from their support group, aka their cult, and then give them only one point of view. When you talk about deprogramming conservatives, you’re asking people to commit social suicide; it’s likely that all their close friends and associates (or all of their parasocial relationships) are with people that hold similar conservative beliefs. Without surrounding them with people that are more liberal, and are willing to accept them, you’re not going to be able to have a long-lasting effect.
I don’t think you can. I very gently tried to dissuade a church friend from weaponized disinformation websites by explaining what that was, and he unfriended me and stopped coming to our church and told the pastor we were too liberal. Well we always were so it was just a matter of time before that sunk in, so I don’t imagine anything would have stopped that, but I felt bad. I just didn’t want him getting sucked in to Tucker Carlson because he is a sweet guy and deserves better, but he also seems to have gotten religion because of a psychotic episode so I’m not sure any of this is a good idea for him.
On the opposite side how do you deprogram a tankies?
The slimiest form of whattaboutism. Tankies don’t control a major political party, the highest court, giant media networks or any of the smaller institutions that support those. You may as well be shouldering yourself into a conversation about misinformation and education and drooling “but what about flat earthers”.
Come back with a real problem.
You can absolutely win them over but the problem is they go right back. Like someone getting out of rehab and going to right to their dealer they will turn on newsmax or get on Facebook and reprogram themselves.
You’re talking about a fascist, not an “extreme conservative.” And you cannot persuade them “toward center” because there is no such thing as a political “center.” Never has been.
Throwing a spanner in their brain washing is actually a lot easier than people think… but only if you understand their socio-economic conditions. There’s a lot of contradictions bubbling under the surface of right-wing ideology - the trick is to exploit those.
You absolutely want to do it in-person, but understand this is going to be a long deprogramming process. You’ll need to demonstrate how each lie they have been fed is untrue, and correct it with factual information. Once you get far enough down the right-wing rabbit hole, these people start living in a completely separate reality. Not only will you need to deconstruct that reality and bring them back to our own, you’ll need to do so in a supportive and caring way, because most people don’t respond well to their worldview crumbling. You’ll need to convince them that you care for them more than anything else, or they’ll retreat further into the fake reality that’s been constructed for them.
Befriend them. Show them instead of telling them.
I’m guessing in most cases, the intention is to convince someone that’s already a close friend or loved one.
Honestly I don’t try to change my older relatives’ minds on things. After a certain point your views about life/politics get fixed and then that becomes part of your identity.
I find that they have a lot of mistaken assumptions that are just lies repeated by Fox News. Sometimes they don’t even watch Fox, they’re just surrounded by people that do.
I like to focus on the economic issues, since there is hard math for the economy and I find it’s not productive to argue with someone who is terrified that a trans person might be in the same bathroom as their child. I find these people literally start foaming at the mouth over that stuff and I just don’t have the right math or words to cut through the rabies.
For example. I’ve heard Republican voters say that Republicans are better for the economy and reducing the national debt. Ask them which Republican presidents have left office with a reduced deficit?
Ask them if they know how much it added to the national debt when Reagan, Bush, and Trump passed tax cuts primarily for the rich and corporations.
Let them know that you’re also concerned about the economy and the deficits, and show them a chart of federal spending and ask them whether they want to cut Social Security, Medicare, or defense spending to pay for more tax cuts for the rich and corporations.
Then ask them why DON’T the Republicans cut ANY of those things to pay for their tax cuts? Why do those deficits just get passed on to the next Democrat and blamed on them? How are Republicans going to reduce the deficit when it’s not politically feasible with their base to cut ANY of those three things?
When it comes to immigration, ask them why they think immigrants are trying to get here in the first place. Show them Smedley Butler and talk about the war on drugs and ask them if they think the US is partially to blame for the violence in other countries that people are trying to escape from.
Also, show them the Maddox comic where he depicts immigrants “stealing our jobs”. Ask them who is hiring these illegal immigrants and why? Ask them who the managers and owners of those companies vote for and why those people might have an incentive to preserve the “illegal” status of those employees.
“Fuck off with your woke bullshit.”
I’ve tried this. They don’t listen; it just goes in one ear and out the other, and that’s assuming you’re on good terms with the person you’re talking to. Otherwise, they just get very angry that you’re attacking their worldview.
The long and short is that these people have been lied to virtually non-stop for the past 40 years, and the first step is depriving them of their disinformation stream. From there, it’s a slow process that could take years, and that process is reset if they go back to listening to lies on Fox News or on Facebook/Twitter.
Removed by mod
You also can’t use logic, facts, or reason to get someone to change their mind if you believe they are incapable of changing their mind.
If you categorize “asking questions” as a form of bad faith engagement, then you are now incapable of even trying to change someone’s mind.
Long story short, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
“Fake news”
That’s the reaction I usually get when the cognitive dissonance starts to get too much.
This is a story about how someone from the Westboro Baptist Church left because of the way that people engaged with her. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVV2Zk88beY
What’s worth noting from this story, people that were hostile in their interactions with her only served to entrench her further in her ideals.
What caused her to change her mind were the people that had “friendly arguments” and made an effort to learn where she was coming from.
She listed out 4 key points when engaging in difficult conversations. I extracted/paraphrased some of what she said below:
-
Don’t assume bad intent (assume good or neutral intent instead) - Assuming ill motive almost instantly cuts you off from truly understanding why someone does and believes as they do. We forget that they’re a human being with a lifetime of experience that shaped their mind and we get stuck on that first wave of anger and the conversation has a very hard time ever moving beyond it.
-
Ask Questions - Asking questions helps us map the disconnect. We can’t present effective arguments if we don’t understand where the other side is coming from.
-
Stay calm - She thought that “[her] rightness justified [her] rudeness”. When things get too hostile during a conversation, tell a joke, recommend a book, change the subject, or excuse yourself from the conversation. The discussion isn’t over, but pause it for a time to let tensions dissapate.
-
Make the argument - One side effect of having strong beliefs is that we sometimes assume that the value of our position is, or should be, obvious and self-evident. That we shouldn’t have to defend our positions because they’re so clearly right and good. If it were that simple, we would all see things the same way.
You can’t expect others to spontaneously change their minds. If we want change, we have to make the case for it.
-
I live in the Bible Belt so as you can imagine I interact with these types of people on a very regular basis.
I once went on a business trip with one of my [at that time] employees. We got along well although I knew he was very conservative politically and a staunch Trump supporter. I am neither of those things which he knew about me as well. We had a long car ride through the middle of nowhere and we talked for a good chunk of it to pass the time.
Eventually I asked him, “What do you like so much about Donald Trump?” I genuinely wanted to know. He told me. I thought his reasons were bullshit but I did ask and so I had an obligation to at least hear him out. He asked me why I didn’t like Trump. I gave him my reasons. We kind of politely acknowledged one another’s opinion and agreed to disagree. We chatted a little bit more and then he said something that I did not expect. “You know those people who go walking around with guns strapped on them all the time? Those guys are idiots. What kind of moron thinks he’s got to prove something so badly that he goes to the store carrying an AR strapped to his back?”
I was honestly shocked. I didn’t expect him to say that and I agreed with him. We talked a lot longer after that about politics and found that we had plenty of other things we agreed on, and plenty that we didn’t. When we finally got to our destination, I thanked him for answering my questions honestly because I genuinely wanted to understand his perspective. I could tell he appreciated that.
That’s a long way of saying that the only way to deal with extreme conservatives is to go talk to them. Its not always easy but you’ll find that you have more in common with them than you might think. Now, that’s easy for me to say. I’m a straight, white, boot wearing, bearded guy with a southern accent. I pretty much fit right in around here. If you’re a minorty, trans for instance, and you don’t want to go talk to people who think you’re some sort of abomination, I don’t blame you for a second. that’s why those of us who are not as “threatening” need to do a better job of being allies.
There’s a passage in the Bible that says “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” It’s true. A “divide and conquer” strategy is incredibly effective. It’s working very effectively in American politics today. And the only way to bridge the gap is to go find some common ground.
What did he like about Trump?
I don’t remember exactly because it’s been a few years but I think it had something to do with him “telling it like it is.”
I think that’s what a lot of people like about Trump. Basically the fact that he provides very “concise” answers to their problems. The fact that those answers are usually false, misdirections, or based on a poor or non-existent understanding of an issue doesn’t really enter into it.
Make them cluck like a chicken
This is my go-to resource for living with conservatives.
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist
I’m not joking.
What does it say? Shows a 403 error
Welcome to our ad-free, tracking-free version of Healthline
We detect that you are in one of the member countries of the UK/EU/EEA, which is now subject to the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR). Unfortunately, a tracking-free version of our full website is currently unavailable in these countries. We are engaged on the issue and committed to looking at options that support our full range of digital offerings to this market
While we continue to identify technical compliance solutions that will allow all readers to experience our content, we are providing you with 10 articles that highlight the breadth and quality of our content. You are on this page because you disallowed the purposes listed in the “How we use your data” section of our Privacy Settings page.
We believe that health information should be free to everyone and we rely on advertising to make this possible on our family of websites Healthline, Medical News Today, Greatist, and Psych Central. Providing the best health information in the world is expensive. We spend up to thousands of dollars per article to ensure it is accurate and precise with quality review by a doctor or other certified, trained medical professional.
The modern digital advertising ecosystem functions on cookies and other data. Cookies and similar tracking technologies allow us to improve your browsing experience, store or access relevant information, customize content and offers, personalize advertising, analyze our traffic, and better understand you. In order to access all of our content and website features, we request you allow all of the purposes listed in the “How we use your data” section of our Privacy Settings page.
As you access these 10 articles and learn more about Healthline, we hope to earn your trust about our privacy and advertising practices.
When you return to this site in the future, you will have the opportunity to revisit and renew your Privacy Settings. Thanks again.
17 Effective Ways to Lower Your Blood Pressure
March 08, 2021
High blood pressure, or hypertension, is called the “silent killer” for good reason. It often has no symptoms, but is […]
from Healthline7 Foods to Help Your Acid Reflux
March 08, 2021
We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may […]
from Healthline6 Stretches for Sciatica Pain Relief
March 08, 2021
We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may […]
from HealthlineRaised Skin Bump: 25 Causes, Photos, & Treatments
March 08, 2021
Overview of raised skin bumps Raised skin bumps are very common, and in most cases they’re harmless. They can result […]
from HealthlineHow to Fall Asleep in 10, 60, or 120 Seconds
March 08, 2021
We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may […]
from HealthlineThe Ketogenic Diet: A Detailed Beginner’s Guide to Keto
March 08, 2021
We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may […]
from HealthlineCOVID-19 Symptoms Usually Show Up in This Order
March 08, 2021
A study from the University of Southern California was able to determine that COVID-19 symptoms often start in a certain […]
from HealthlineIs Mayo Gluten-Free?
March 08, 2021
Mayo, a creamy yellowish-white condiment, is usually served cold with sandwiches or used as a base for salad dressings and […]
from Healthline6 Health Benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar, Backed by Science
September 02, 2020
Apple cider vinegar is a popular home remedy. People have used it for centuries in cooking and medicine. Many people […]
from Healthline6 Popular Ways to Do Intermittent Fasting
September 02, 2020
Intermittent fasting has recently become a health trend. It’s claimed to cause weight loss, improve metabolic health, and perhaps even […]
from Healthline