Short people will not go to heaven.
Well, obviously. They can’t reach.
Short people got no reason to live
Not OP, but I didn’t realize it was obscure lol
Nobody will go to heaven because heaven is not real.
I would sooner ride a camel through the eye of a needle than go to heaven
You’re rich?
Fake it til you make it?
I gotta check that place out if I’m ever in the area.
That’s what you believe. So do i.
deleted by creator
That’s the logical conclusion based on neuroscience finding that souls don’t exist.
Pardon, what? Not saying you’re wrong but this sounds like something that can’t be proved. I would love a source if you don’t mind!
how can you tell someone anonymous online is an atheist?
they’ll let you know
That’s fallacious reasoning.
Not all religions believe in heaven.
oh so you’re religious? that surely contradicts my annoying atheists can’t shut the fuck up theory
Additionally, Atheists aren’t the ones who go door to door trying to convert people, or leave tracts in public restrooms.
Theists seem to be the ones who can’t / won’t shut up.
that’s a lot of non answer
I made no claim to anything other than the disbelief in heaven.
You’re making assumptions.
yeah the point is none of them religious people who don’t believe in heaven wrote that
My point is that you can’t say with certainty that I’m either religious or not by that statement alone.
Yes, we all agree that you’re very smart for passing a logical reasoning quiz.
it wasn’t by the statement alone; it was by the fact that you couldn’t help but make the statement.
When I got my first tattoo 30 years ago, my then mother-in-law said I’d be in prison soon enough. So far I’ve managed to be a good citizen (it seems following the law is easy), but I’ve got a plan for this to prove her right. When I’m about to go bye bye , I’m going to strip naked and run around on live TV, probably at a sporting event. That will at least get me arrested, and if I resist arrest and generally be annoying, I’m might go to prison to let the state pay for all the medical things associated with my demise. These tattoos are a bad influence. Hell awaits.
my mom said i’d go to prison if i got an electric bike and she’s right. the local prison has a bike shop as part of their programs and i bought my bike there
What about people who wear solid color t-shirts that have long-ass slogans on them which are super specific and seemingly only apply to a single person on the entire face of the Earth often written in a variety of fonts and font-sizes and including bizarre details about their lives like the t-shirt that was given to me by my same-sex lover on the second Saturday in June of 2021 to celebrate the fact that I managed to clear an entire thornless blackberry bush of berries that we used to make the most delicious blackberry cobbler from that very same evening?
What’s hilarious is I actually have that shirt
Who hurt you?
Did Randy Newman answer your question personally?
tattoos will go to heaven will go heaven will go to heaven will go to heaven
You guys, I think I decrypted the secret message.
Just the tattoos though, not whoever wearing them.
tattoos eyeballs
What if god said you may go to heaven only if you climb these stairs but you’re on a wheelchair type shit
AI doesnt appear to have gotten to the Old Testament yet.
it’s gonna be interesting when AI’s start fighting each other. Think religious wars are nasty? Wait until agentic AI starts driving automated trucks into ‘enemy’ data centers…
The AI will truly have to be able to think for themselves first. Whoever has written their parameters has done an impressive job of adding apologia into the algorithms about any religious topic.
Me: Does the bible say X?
AI: Yes
Me: Does the bible also say Y? (the literal opposite of X)
AI: Yes
Me: Doesn’t that mean the bible is inconsistent in this regard?
AI: Well you have to understand the cultural context of the time and be sure to approach such topics with sensitivity and blah…blah…
that’s because these are meant to be general purpose tools.
when some religious nutbag rolls one that’s hard coded to be a true believer, watch out
electricity usage’ll go down
I like that you’re looking at the positives :D
I mean it’s outta my hands so I might as well make popcorn in the fire
Do you think the pearly gates have one of those “You must be THIS high to ride” signs outside?
Removed tattoos, just like lost limbs, will return when you enter Heaven.
Ah, so when entering heaven, I’ll get mind back?
Not excited about getting my impacted wisdom teeth back. I’m starting to think God’s a bit of a dick.
my wife is happier without her lost organs just like i’m happier without my lost ones. please no.
“Fuck short people” - Randy Newman
Heavn is a human construct, so really, nobody’s going there.
good to know I will never be at risk of going to heaven because I’m short
Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?
you got a friend in me
Too tall to die, too short to go to heaven
Did they pull that last bit from the Doors song?