So apparently this is a satirical headline and didn’t actually happen, but my first thought was that a prankster had tried to make SCP-3008 a reality.
If I had a genie I think I would spend one wish on making it so people stopped believing random, vague text on random pictures on the internet.
Seriously, this is partially why we’re falling apart in the US, we had too many people who get all their news from social media and cannot tell the difference between journalism and “words that someone put on a photo.”
Jesus, like most of these don’t even have fake photo credits or web-pages. We lost democracy to not even half-assed memes and distractions, this shit is quarter-assed or less
I had a boss once who would talk about whether something passed “the laugh test” i.e., if you said it would it be believable enough that people wouldn’t laugh. If you were going to suggest something it needed to pass the laugh test.
I feel like with news entertainment, stuff just has to pass the laugh test to get shared …
And clearly not everyone laughs at the same unbelievable things.
This was a great read, thanks!
The SCP universe is a funny one. It’s all just made up stories from people around the internet that wanted to create a creepypasta universe of their own, and it has resulted in some video games as well. I heard about this particular one, SCP-3008, from someone doing a oneshot TTRPG using it as a backdrop.
I know SCP but didn’t know this one :)
I like finding random interesting ones like these. During the read I really visualized everything. Super cool
So, have any of you ever been in Ikea during a fire alarm?
We were shopping in an Ikea a year or so ago, in the furniture section. It’s just a bit past the entrance to “the maze”. A screeching fire alarm goes off. For about 10 minutes, everyone – including the Ikea employees – just ignore it and continue doing whatever. Then the Ikea employees start saying, “Please exit the store” or somesuch. That’s when I dawns on me that exiting the store is not as easy as it sounds. We could see no marked fire exits. The employees just said the “follow the arrows”.
Everyone knows how hard it is to get through an Ikea at the best of times. What about during a fire alarm? Well, I’m looking for the “shortcuts”, but they are not clearly marked. We do make it to a stairwell (I’ve been in this store a few times) and manage to avoid traversing the entire top and bottom floors. We’re faced with a pair of big doors marked, “Not an exit” or somesuch. We push through those doors and they dump us out at the front of the store, near the registers.
Now we’re at the front of the store, with no idea how to get out. Toward the front of the store, we see some exit doors. We try to push them open, but they’re blocked by carts on the outside. We finally get the carts pushed out of the way and people pour out into a small parking area. Note, that this Ikea has a parking garage under the store, so if the building were actually on fire, we’d be fucked because this second-level parking area we’re standing in is very close to the building and gives no easy exit to the ground and away from the building.
If there was actually a fire with smoke, people would have panicked and it would have been a deadly shit-show getting out.
Fuck going to that Ikea again.
idk what kind of eldritch ikea you guys have, but here there’s fire exits every 50 meters.
Maybe this one: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008
I came to that conclusion about 20 years ago. If I want anything from them these days, I choose it on the website and only go into the store as far as the flat pack area to pick it up, or just order online. Fuck going to any IKEA again.
Christ, imagine that but in the Duty Free maze at an airport and now you’re having to get past the people standing in the aisle gawping at concession stands for smellies, or just stopping dead in front of you for no reason.
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If I know what I’m after, I can be in and out of IKEA in about 15 minutes. You can bypass the showroom entirely, and go directly to the market hall. There’s generally enough cross through routes to cut past 50% plus. The only downside is the lack of maps, you have to sort of memorise the layout first to not skip past what you’re looking for.
I do feel a bit weird crossing these metal doors though. Feels like an employee-only thing, but I also know no one cares.
The ones at mine are just openings in the walls, with a sign above them.
IKEA doesn’t want you to know this but you can walk the wrong way without anyone trying to stop you.
ikea already is a labyrint with no exit, as far as I’m concerned.
Lost some good friends in there, never seen them again.
Not the worst place to be stuck in. You got ample lounging and sleeping quarters. Food. Social interaction.
gotta find the food first…
All paths lead to the food court. Otherwise, meat in a different form is all around you. A lone patron takes a wrong turn in the curtains section and its lights out.
Now I wish there was a Swedish urban myth about a person who got lost in an IKEA and became a savage and still haunts it to this very day.
The ball pit in the children’s area is a great place to get, uh, let’s call it veal.
Haha sicko. I’ve never actually seen the kids area. Didn’t know there was a ball pit.
I’m not sure it’s in all of them. The one by me has an area where you can dump your kid so you can shop unimpeded. I’m only assuming they have a ball pit.
Yeah I’ve seen them near me just haven’t been inside.
You didn’t go deep enough.
There are more surprises… if you dare stray from the path.
I don’t dare
I’ll just leave this here.
Thanks, that was a fun one. Poor dude though.
They were eating meatballs and forgot to mention it, some say they’re still there to this day.
Ikea isn’t a labyrinth. It is a long and winding single path with no branching paths.
It makes sure every customer walks past every product.
Your friends have been transported to Sweden through a portal. Now they are stuck making endless BLÅFJÄLLETs in their factory.
i dont believe in you religion. my ikea crealy has branches. maybe its just my dehydration talking though. have to check next time.
You’ve got to master the shortcuts and often enter from the exit. It can be forced into some semblance of usability with enough practice. But I wouldn’t wish the practice on anyone.
Tell us the lore: What forced you to put the work in?
Buying a house and having kids. Man I spent so much time in that godforsaken place.
Damn kids these days, thinking they’re invincible and shit and don’t need the IKEA Safety String™ or the IKEA buddy system
THIS is what happens when you don’t listen to basic safety lectures
2020 called it wants it’s facebook meme back.
Now I wanna PT Barnum up a Walmart or something by putting signs and arrows up that lead people to the Egress.
‘This Way To The Egress’ is a pretty cool band, too.
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I love it! If it is real. Link to the source?
It must be real because it’s a picture of Ikea with a text below it.
Why are the people standing in the parking spaces without their cars? Is that the people parking lot?
They’re waiting for their turn to play the Ikea escape room.
They got lost because of fake arrows.
The arrows are displayed from above. They may be challenging to move.
