look at how these sorts of things were handled scientifically in the past vs how they’re handled today

This is a big red flag to me. The scientific industry has a frankly awful history when it comes to its understanding and treatment of queer/trans people, and looking at how “these sorts of things” were treated historically is going to result in you seeing lots of discounted homophobic/transphobic ideas that won’t provide you any clarity.

OP, the feelings you describe can be really common for trans people discovering themselves and are nothing to be ashamed of. I recommend giving yourself the space to try out the things that you want, experiment with how people refer to you, etc. There’s no rush or pressure to have any definite answers. Realizing these things about yourself, especially as an adult, can feel earth-shattering, so please give yourself as much grace as you can 💙