First of i am very sex repulsed. It triggers some trauma (i am very sure i am ace anyway tho).

Seeing people sexualising themselfs or others is the worst for me. it can literally end the day for me, because i have to stay in bed for the rest of the day trying to deal with the emotions. So naturally i try to avoid that. all my friends are very suportive. On the internet i obviously dont go to places where such things might be. today i way watching roadrage videos. should be save enough right? ofc not. because some people gotta but sexualising content literally everywhere. The otherday i looked for chess openings. found a guide who ??? sexualised the chess pieces???

i am just tired. nsfw already has the majority of internet traffic. cant i just have some small portion where i can feel save?

I know i am an extreme case but it just feels so darn isolating. i am scared of joining any discord server. i used to my partner check subreddits (thankfull lemmy seems to be less bad in this regard) before joining. the internet gives potential for so much community especially for an introvert like me. but beeing so very sex repulsed locks me out of those communitys right away.

Thanks for reading. I dont think there is help or a solution. I just needed to rant to someone.

  • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zipEnglish
    372·
    4 months ago

    Hello, i am just reading this from my all feed and am not asexual myself, just as a disclaimer.

    This sounds like some deep and unresolved trauma, I can get annoyed and bored with the widespread hypersexualisation myself, but the fact that you have to grapple with sexual contents through what is essentially a personal breakdown is a very extreme reaction.

    Have you considered therapy to get at the root cause here? The way you describe it your condition is utterly debilitating and any health insurance worth their money should provide you with treatment for this.