Like all things come concerning sexuality there are two big points to keep in mind:

• Nobody can tell you what your feelings are about this but you. And,
• Just like all sexuality, asexuality also exists on a spectrum. It doesn’t sound like you’re sex-repulsed at least, but that doesn’t necessarily preclude being Ace.

Don’t worry so much about what turns you on in fantasy versus reality. That’s a pretty common experience and it’s perfectly fine to enjoy the thought of something and not be interested in the reality. Don’t worry so much about comparing your libido to others either because everyone’s different. I’m not Ace but I go through periods where I can be insatiably horny for a week and then feel little need for release for weeks myself. This will also change throughout your life as you get older and/or your life circumstances change

My personal advice would be to not worry so much about defining your sexuality until you’ve got a better idea of what you do and don’t like. If you know you’ve got a lower libido then that’s definitely something to consider when you’re figuring out compatibility with a partner, but just because you’ve got a lower interest in sex doesn’t necessarily mean you’re Ace.

It sounds like you’re interested in trying to have sex so I would advise to at least wait until after you’ve had the experience a few times(and maybe with a few different people) before you worry about defining your true feelings. Whatever decision that you come to though, good luck on your journey! 💜

This is going to be a bit rambly, and I apologize up front, but this is my experience of asexuality.

For much of my life (and I’m somewhat old) I didn’t really consider myself asexual. It was relatively recently that I saw a video about a couple of different perspectives of asexuality, and one perspective that I found relatable was roughly this:

For some people, asexuality is an attraction model that isn’t really centered on people, i.e. you don’t necessarily find people (physically) attractive, you may find attraction focused on other things, such as events, scenarios/situations, or connection.

Hearing this and looking back, there are a few things that stood out:

• When I was in a long-term relationship, my partner was quite frustrated with my lack of sex drive. I wasn’t uninterested, but sex to me was more of an academic curiosity; I would read about sex on forums like early Reddit, see what people liked, and I enjoyed doing and trying things that made them react, but the act itself didn’t mean a lot to me.
• I never really got into “regular” porn, but really enjoyed drawn stuff, especially if it depicted something unusual (certain scenarios, etc )
• I eventually got a bit into visual novels, and later other porn games, enough so that I volunteered to mod for the Reddit lewdgames subreddit, and run the c/lewdgames community here as well.

I’ve never been “sex-repuled” like the other poster mentioned, but I’ve also never felt like my attraction model was appropriately described by other terms. I’ve adopted asexual, and I feel like it fits better than most, even though I’m still reasonably involved in porn communities.

so there’s a lot of axis when it comes to sexuality, especially around asexuality! i’ll define them for you, and give a few examples, which might help you feel things out for yourself

• allosexual - asexual

  • this is the spectrum of feeling typical sexual attraction to not feeling it. there’s a lot of points in between allo and ace! for example, i’m demisexual, which means i only develop sexual attraction to people after establishing a strong trusting relationship with them. other examples are like, grey asexuality, aegosexual, etc

• high libido - low libido

  • this is the spectrum of how horny you get/how often you want to do sex acts. it sounds like you’re on the moderate to low end here, but it’s good to know that it’s not necessarily related to whether you’re ace or not! for example, i’m demi and also high libido

• sex positive - sex repulsed

  • this axis describes how you feel about sex acts, usually with other people. you can be totally stone cold ace and still enjoy sex, for whatever reason (enjoying other people’s enjoyment, kink stuff, etc) - it’s another thing that’s just, related but doesn’t define asexuality

• alloromantic - aromantic

  • romantic attraction is its own axis! just like someone might not feel sexual attraction, one may or may not feel romantic attraction. it is also a spectrum, and i think there’s a lot of similar identities in it to the ones on the ace spectrum e.g. demiromatic

anyways it sounds to me like you’re on the ace spectrum for sure! i think you should read about some of the different identities in the ace spectrum and see if you can relate to any. for example, you might find aegosexual resonates with you:

Aegosexuals may have sexual fantasies, view sexual content, or masturbate, but typically feel little to no sexual attraction or desire to engage in sexual intercourse. Many aegosexuals fantasize about sex from a third-person perspective