I wrote two sentences about how it feels a bit off to me. I didn’t “lash out”.
In response, I got a 500 word essay trying to encourage me not to challenge the status quo. The fact that you interpreted a short post, which wasn’t aggressive, and was clearly an expression of a personal opinion as “lashing out” is something I think you should look at. You’re projecting something on to me…
I went off a little bit, but returning to the comment in question. I don’t believe it was meant in any sort of disregard to any one walk of life.
I agree, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing underneath it. Normalised homophobia, racism and sexism are all things. They’re often invisible, which is how they get normalised in the first place. People repeating them often don’t even realise that they are. Challenging those norms is a good thing, because it helps people look at things from a perspective they may not have actively considered before, and that is how change happens.
I still don’t think that makes it right to accuse people of homophobia, no matter how off hand. I don’t see anything normalizing homophobia in this comment, but again I just don’t like to assume these things. Lashing out was maybe a bit too far, but it’s still a fairly hurtful accusation for someone who didn’t mean anything.
Its a really big dick. Would you have made the same comment if the wizard saw the barbarian’s glorious asscheeks? I dunno. It’s just a dick to me. It’s a wad of flesh, just like any other wad of flesh.
And yes, I write long because I have severe unmedicated ADHD and social anxiety. And every time I try to convey myself, I punish myself for it. That’s my problem and I’m trying to deal with it.
As for challenging norms, you can teach someone to understand, but you can’t force them to accept. But understanding works both ways. It’s the same as any belief. Also, I wasn’t trying to project onto you, I’m sorry. I was just asking you to have a little forgiveness in your heart for the ignorant. I’m really trying hard to understand everything as much as I can.
And please don’t accuse me of homophobia for just trying to understand. I lost my virginity to another man, enjoyed it, and I’m extremely open about it to everyone (including my religious family) because I have no shame nor do I think it was wrong.
I only happened to fall in love with a woman later because she is an amazing person and she deserves all the love and loyalty I can give her. She’s my absolute best friend who I have no secrets from. I advocate love in every way, shape, and form.
I encourage advocation. Just… please try not to trample bystanders in the process.
And now I must get to bed. My anxiety kept me up looking for a reply, because I’m really not trying to upset you, I’m just trying to make sense of everything. And I guess I also just wanted to talk to someone and I’m honestly enjoying the chat (I’m talkative, if you hadn’t noticed, lol). I also don’t mind if you don’t read this. It is quite long…
I encourage advocation. Just… please try not to trample bystanders in the process.
Go back and re-read my post, and then please tell me, how was I trampling anyone?
I’m just trying to make sense of everything.
This isn’t what “trying to make sense of everything” looks like. That would consist of asking questions. You aren’t asking questions though, you’re putting in a large amount of effort to tell me that actually, I’m the problem.
Well… sometimes people just don’t understand each other, too. It was nice talking to you. I didn’t ask any questions because you made yourself quite clear in other comments. You seem to be the type that makes timid people feel unseen, and I don’t vibe with that.
By trying to make sense of everything, I don’t mean the small fishbowl you seem to be seeing here. I mean humanity. Maybe I’m just insane.
Well, good luck to you. Pick out and reply to everything you don’t like in life (as you did here) and trample past everything else. That just sounds like stress to me, and I have enough of that without seeing daggers where there are none.
As I said earlier, my initial comment was short, clearly a statement of personal opinion and not aggressive. You have responded with walls of text greatly exaggerating the content of my comment, and made multiple accusations against me, simply because you don’t like the fact I challenged a joke that comes across as homophobic to me.
You suggest that you also want to challenge homophobia, but somehow, the mild way in which I’ve done it here is still going too far for you, and warrants multiple accusations against my character.
I hope when you wake up, you can look at this conversation with fresh eyes and re-evaluate your role in it.
I wrote two sentences about how it feels a bit off to me. I didn’t “lash out”.
In response, I got a 500 word essay trying to encourage me not to challenge the status quo. The fact that you interpreted a short post, which wasn’t aggressive, and was clearly an expression of a personal opinion as “lashing out” is something I think you should look at. You’re projecting something on to me…
I agree, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing underneath it. Normalised homophobia, racism and sexism are all things. They’re often invisible, which is how they get normalised in the first place. People repeating them often don’t even realise that they are. Challenging those norms is a good thing, because it helps people look at things from a perspective they may not have actively considered before, and that is how change happens.
I still don’t think that makes it right to accuse people of homophobia, no matter how off hand. I don’t see anything normalizing homophobia in this comment, but again I just don’t like to assume these things. Lashing out was maybe a bit too far, but it’s still a fairly hurtful accusation for someone who didn’t mean anything.
Its a really big dick. Would you have made the same comment if the wizard saw the barbarian’s glorious asscheeks? I dunno. It’s just a dick to me. It’s a wad of flesh, just like any other wad of flesh.
And yes, I write long because I have severe unmedicated ADHD and social anxiety. And every time I try to convey myself, I punish myself for it. That’s my problem and I’m trying to deal with it.
As for challenging norms, you can teach someone to understand, but you can’t force them to accept. But understanding works both ways. It’s the same as any belief. Also, I wasn’t trying to project onto you, I’m sorry. I was just asking you to have a little forgiveness in your heart for the ignorant. I’m really trying hard to understand everything as much as I can.
And please don’t accuse me of homophobia for just trying to understand. I lost my virginity to another man, enjoyed it, and I’m extremely open about it to everyone (including my religious family) because I have no shame nor do I think it was wrong.
I only happened to fall in love with a woman later because she is an amazing person and she deserves all the love and loyalty I can give her. She’s my absolute best friend who I have no secrets from. I advocate love in every way, shape, and form.
I encourage advocation. Just… please try not to trample bystanders in the process.
And now I must get to bed. My anxiety kept me up looking for a reply, because I’m really not trying to upset you, I’m just trying to make sense of everything. And I guess I also just wanted to talk to someone and I’m honestly enjoying the chat (I’m talkative, if you hadn’t noticed, lol). I also don’t mind if you don’t read this. It is quite long…
Go back and re-read my post, and then please tell me, how was I trampling anyone?
This isn’t what “trying to make sense of everything” looks like. That would consist of asking questions. You aren’t asking questions though, you’re putting in a large amount of effort to tell me that actually, I’m the problem.
Well… sometimes people just don’t understand each other, too. It was nice talking to you. I didn’t ask any questions because you made yourself quite clear in other comments. You seem to be the type that makes timid people feel unseen, and I don’t vibe with that.
By trying to make sense of everything, I don’t mean the small fishbowl you seem to be seeing here. I mean humanity. Maybe I’m just insane.
Well, good luck to you. Pick out and reply to everything you don’t like in life (as you did here) and trample past everything else. That just sounds like stress to me, and I have enough of that without seeing daggers where there are none.
As I said earlier, my initial comment was short, clearly a statement of personal opinion and not aggressive. You have responded with walls of text greatly exaggerating the content of my comment, and made multiple accusations against me, simply because you don’t like the fact I challenged a joke that comes across as homophobic to me.
You suggest that you also want to challenge homophobia, but somehow, the mild way in which I’ve done it here is still going too far for you, and warrants multiple accusations against my character.
I hope when you wake up, you can look at this conversation with fresh eyes and re-evaluate your role in it.