• Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    Well I for one am perfectly convinced that patient TX45788288 is clean and free of drugs. Of course, I don’t really know who that is. Probably isn’t Musk though. Even if it is, I’m quite sure that he could easily find someone to piss in a cup for him for a million or so. Hell, I hate the dirt bag and I would have done it for a million bucks.

    Also, I would never impute the integrity of Jennifer Taylor of Fastest Labs of South Austin, but I think maybe her boss should check to see if she suddenly jumped into a new tax bracket.

    • Kraven_the_Hunter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      17 hours ago

      The fact that you can conceive if paying someone $1M to pee in a cup is how I can tell you’re not rich. If you were, it would have been a few thousand at most but more likely to be a threat of some sort to compel the other person to help you.

    • bassomitron@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      Not to mention that the drugs he’s accused of abusing don’t usually stay in your system for a long time.

        • bassomitron@lemmy.world
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          3 hours ago

          Sure. Ketamine, shrooms, and molly (or MDMA) were the primary substances the inside sources claimed he was abusing over the last year.

          Shrooms never show up on a urine test, as far as I’m aware. Ketamine and MDMA only remain detectable in urine for a week or two, sometimes as long as a month for those with really high BMI, very low activity levels, or a slow metabolism. So, he’d simply have to stop taking drugs for a couple weeks and he’d likely piss clean. This test wouldn’t disprove any of the claims that he was rampantly abusing drugs during Trump’s campaign or while “working/consulting” at DOGE (he only left government “service” a few weeks ago).

          Besides all of that, there are tons of ways to easily defeat a urine drug test. You can literally walk into just about any headshop (stores that sell devices to smoke marijuana, e.g. bowls, vapes, bongs, etc) and they will almost certainly sell fake penises that come preloaded with “fake urine” that can pass a drug test. You wear the fake penis contraption like a garter belt under your boxers/underwear and when you go in for the urine test, you simply aim the fake penis into the cup and use whichever method that product has for dispensing its contents.

          And that is just one method for getting around urine tests. The bottom line: There is literally no reason anyone should accept this “evidence” as proof that Elon Musk is not abusing drugs.

      • kautau@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Specifically urine. I’d love for hair and blood tests like those that get fucked by the “war on drugs” go through

    • Kirp123@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      Why pay a milion? Just make his kid piss in the cup, he already carries the poor thing with him everywhere.

      • Taleya@aussie.zone
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        19 hours ago

        You know how some people carry water bottles with them all the time? Same thing with musk and that kid. He just decants it when he needs fluids.