Hearing about people like that really upsets me.

Reclaiming a slur is only something that the target of the slur can do. Self describing with the slur as an individual or as group is reclaiming the slur. Calling someone a slur when you’re not a target of that slur, is just referring to someone with a slur. That’s not reclaiming, that’s just claiming.

But trying to explain it away instead of just apologizing is the worst part.