I relate heavily to the OP. Especially the past couple of days. I always just seem to get in trouble for just existing the wrong way… particularly at work.
What am I supposed to even talk about in therapy? I’ve tried it numerous times over the past several years, and I don’t know what the fuck to say. And then when I do try to say something, the therapist latches onto some simpler and more obvious issue that I don’t care about OR just ignores my concerns altogether.
I think therapy seems to work out better if you have one obvious, specific problem. Like I knew someone who was having panic attacks. Therapy helped her. I knew someone who was hallucinating and cutting herself. Medications combined with therapy helped her.
But if I don’t have the one specific obvious problem, then both myself and therapists seem to get lost and the resulting sessions are ineffective .
“feeling like you’re in trouble” is one specific problem. You might have other problems too but you can’t fix them all at once. Focus on one at a time. Share the existentialist memes you identify with with the therapist.
They’re going to want to unpack why you feel that way, and you need to be willing to do some introspection outside the session about why that is. Write down individual times, things, or places when you “feel in trouble”.
Share the post you just wrote. Read it to them verbatim. You do have things to say.
If you go blank during the session and think you have nothing to say, write down things ahead of time and read them off your phone, even if they’re “just” lemmy comments.
What are you feeling that you don’t want to struggle with anymore? Is it guilt? Is it feeling in the way? Is it an unnamable negative? If it’s the last one then you can probably do some work surrounding labelling your emotions, so that you can then apply logic to them- do they fit the current situation? Or no?
Finding a good therapist is like dating. You might not jive with everyone, and that’s ok! It sounds like you would do well with one who either a) is cool with you coming to the session with a goal or who b) helps you set a goal for each session at the beginning. It sounds like your previous therapists weren’t meeting your goals, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile.
I’m sorry that you feel like you’re getting in trouble often. I hope this feeling passes soon.
You dig and dig. Years go by. Decades. You look at your shovel, its covered in shit. You look closer, it is actually made of shit.
Slowly you look down at your arms, legs and body. Youre shit. You turn around, and a new person is coming over with a shovel made of shit to dig you up.
Circle of life man… circle of life.
Fortunately the creators of south park created a shitless world when they released the episode “you’re getting old” June 8th 2011. Why else would you air such a episode unless life was actually perfect? Clearly the people struggling are the ones who are shit. Obviously, can’t theyjust see how great everything is for everyone? What’s wrong with those people?
Yup, nothing can be shit for the rest of time. Utopia. Nirvana. Shangrila.
Thank you for your community service Matt Stone and Trey Parker. You fixed it all.
And then you realize you put in all that effort to identifying your shit piles ahead of time and no one’s there to give you a cookie for your hard work so you have to do it yourself, even thigh that’s it’s own pile, on top of the work of shoveling other piles.
TBH that’s where I am. After learning and slowly coming to terms with the fact that I was in an abusive relationship for over a decade, I’m now at the point where I want to do things she prevented me from doing.
Like buying a sports car. I can’t really afford it, but I’m going to talk about it until I can.
I’m just happy to try new stuff without that lead vest of anxiety. Go skating, get back into backpacking, drop a glass and just sweep it up without the world ending. You know, simple things.
After therapy
I relate heavily to the OP. Especially the past couple of days. I always just seem to get in trouble for just existing the wrong way… particularly at work.
What am I supposed to even talk about in therapy? I’ve tried it numerous times over the past several years, and I don’t know what the fuck to say. And then when I do try to say something, the therapist latches onto some simpler and more obvious issue that I don’t care about OR just ignores my concerns altogether.
I think therapy seems to work out better if you have one obvious, specific problem. Like I knew someone who was having panic attacks. Therapy helped her. I knew someone who was hallucinating and cutting herself. Medications combined with therapy helped her.
But if I don’t have the one specific obvious problem, then both myself and therapists seem to get lost and the resulting sessions are ineffective .
Capitalism
“feeling like you’re in trouble” is one specific problem. You might have other problems too but you can’t fix them all at once. Focus on one at a time. Share the existentialist memes you identify with with the therapist.
They’re going to want to unpack why you feel that way, and you need to be willing to do some introspection outside the session about why that is. Write down individual times, things, or places when you “feel in trouble”.
Share the post you just wrote. Read it to them verbatim. You do have things to say.
If you go blank during the session and think you have nothing to say, write down things ahead of time and read them off your phone, even if they’re “just” lemmy comments.
What are you feeling that you don’t want to struggle with anymore? Is it guilt? Is it feeling in the way? Is it an unnamable negative? If it’s the last one then you can probably do some work surrounding labelling your emotions, so that you can then apply logic to them- do they fit the current situation? Or no?
Finding a good therapist is like dating. You might not jive with everyone, and that’s ok! It sounds like you would do well with one who either a) is cool with you coming to the session with a goal or who b) helps you set a goal for each session at the beginning. It sounds like your previous therapists weren’t meeting your goals, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile.
I’m sorry that you feel like you’re getting in trouble often. I hope this feeling passes soon.
That’s the real answer. It may take a lot of therapy though
Imagine you have a shovel. And a mountain of shit.
Once you start working through the mountain of shit, eventually you can see the shit that was occluded by the mountain of shit.
It may be bigger. It may be smaller. But there’s a lot there and you have to work through it anyway.
You dig and dig. Years go by. Decades. You look at your shovel, its covered in shit. You look closer, it is actually made of shit.
Slowly you look down at your arms, legs and body. Youre shit. You turn around, and a new person is coming over with a shovel made of shit to dig you up.
Circle of life man… circle of life.
Fortunately the creators of south park created a shitless world when they released the episode “you’re getting old” June 8th 2011. Why else would you air such a episode unless life was actually perfect? Clearly the people struggling are the ones who are shit. Obviously, can’t theyjust see how great everything is for everyone? What’s wrong with those people?
Yup, nothing can be shit for the rest of time. Utopia. Nirvana. Shangrila.
Thank you for your community service Matt Stone and Trey Parker. You fixed it all.
And sometimes disturbing the shit makes other shit that you haven’t had to deal with in a long time come crashing down on your head.
And then you realize you put in all that effort to identifying your shit piles ahead of time and no one’s there to give you a cookie for your hard work so you have to do it yourself, even thigh that’s it’s own pile, on top of the work of shoveling other piles.
TBH that’s where I am. After learning and slowly coming to terms with the fact that I was in an abusive relationship for over a decade, I’m now at the point where I want to do things she prevented me from doing.
Like buying a sports car. I can’t really afford it, but I’m going to talk about it until I can.
Haha same actually, 5yrs here.
Good luck on the sports car!
I’m just happy to try new stuff without that lead vest of anxiety. Go skating, get back into backpacking, drop a glass and just sweep it up without the world ending. You know, simple things.
Pfff, who can afford that? /s
Until you get the bill.
I was going to say this. I don’t have that feeling. You probably need help if you have that feeling constantly.
Yep, feeling like you’re constantly in trouble constantly is one of the hallmarks of C-PTSD