• Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    The redness of this flag is 100% dependent on his demeanor, it could easily go either way. If I’m working and a customer volunteers to help me do my job in a manner that is clearly not hostile or insulting I’d call that a good thing.

    • Buffalobuffalo@reddthat.com
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      30 minutes ago

      Per the post the boyfriend is doing this because he is impatient not because he is nice and trying to genuinely make the waitresses life better.

    • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      2 hours ago

      He can be used as excuse for some shitty manager to fire someone “look how slow you are, the client had to come itself to take the plate. Don’t bother coming back tomorrow”

      • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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        1 hour ago

        This is the first/only good point I’ve seen here as to why this would be a bad thing to do regardless of legal liability or his demeanor or intent. Management don’t need a legal or moral justification to be assholes.

    • njm1314@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      There’s literally no way for someone to do this that’s not hostile and insulting.

      • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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        20 hours ago

        You can’t imagine a scenario where a person choosing to politely and cheerfully assist you with your job would be a good thing? Sounds like a failure of your imagination specifically

        • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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          8 hours ago

          My boyfriend is a very nice guy. He helps servers do their job by piling the plates when we’re done eating and leaving them at the edge of the table where they’re accessible like a normal human being.

          I can promise you from 10+ years of experience in the service industry, getting up to grab your own food, no matter how “polite” your intent is, is never, ever fucking welcome. Not only is it insulting and passive aggressive, but it can cause hazards for the customer and other servers, besides you could be stealing food that’s not even your own. This is absolutely unhinged behaviour.

          Editing to add a PSA: it’s also never okay to take food off a server’s tray. That shit takes balance and you will get food or drinks spilled all over you if you pull that shit.

          • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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            3 hours ago

            We have no idea if the food was on a tray or whether there were any other customers orders present to get mixed up. I agree it’s weird as shit, and you can welcome it or not as you please, assuming it’s an insult or passive-aggressive is still entirely baseless. Literally any hazard it could cause to another customer or server could just as easily be caused by him walking to the bathroom. Your boyfriend does sound nice, I also do that.

        • kadup@lemmy.world
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          19 hours ago

          Can you imagine your partner being so focused on the 5 minutes it takes a waiter to bring food to the table that, rather than having a conversation with you or something, they stand up and go pick up their plate unlike every single other human being in that restaurant?

          • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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            19 hours ago

            Can I imagine being hungry? Yeah, pretty easily. Just because other people aren’t doing it doesn’t make it bad.

              • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                11 hours ago

                That would present a significantly greater risk of him contaminating someone else’s food or hurting himself than simple carrying his own plate to his table, think harder

                • RogueBanana@lemmy.zip
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                  2 hours ago

                  So letting him pick his own plate still have a chance of him contaminating the counter, other plates, break things accidentally, bump into a server, and cause confusion and commotion. Didn’t have to think that hard. :)

                  • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                    2 hours ago

                    “Contaminating the counter” isn’t a thing, nobody is eating off of the counter. Every other problem you listed can just as easily be caused by a customer walking across the dining room to the bathroom. I believe you when you say you didn’t think that hard.

        • samus12345@lemm.ee
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          20 hours ago

          They key thing to note here is he does it because he’s impatient, not because he’s such a nice guy. There is no way he’s not a pushy asshole, even if he hides it behind passive-agressive behavior.

          • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
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            11 hours ago

            I think it’s more like somebody who doesn’t respect this boundary probably doesn’t respect other boundaries, too. This is just unhinged behavior, sorry. It’s at best profoundly embarrassing.

          • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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            19 hours ago

            You don’t have a clue what his motives are or whether he’s being a pushy asshole or not, you have exactly the same information I do and you’re making baseless assumptions. If what you’re claiming is true then yes it would be a bad thing, fucking duh, but you don’t know that.

            • samus12345@lemm.ee
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              19 hours ago

              My boyfriend’s beige flag is that he gets impatient at restaurants and helps the waitress bring the plates to our table

              Yes, I do know that, because it’s explicitly stated.

              • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                15 hours ago

                Lol k, well she also used the word “help”, and he’s smiling in the pic so clearly he’s being nice about. You still lose.

                Also worth noting that I never said anything abour him being impatient, I said you didn’t know he was being a pushy asshole, and you don’t. Being impatient does not in any way require being rude.

                • samus12345@lemm.ee
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                  13 hours ago

                  And I’m sure she said this was a “beige flag” because he’s such a great, thoughtful guy. You’re being incredibly obtuse. This is a post about her boyfriend having sketchy behavior.

                  • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                    12 hours ago

                    If she meant red flag she’d have said red flag, if he was angry or pushy you’d think it might show on his face, but thinking’s clearly not your thing. You’re free to make whatever assumptions you want, but they are still assumptions. There’s nothing “sketchy” about being impatient either, you’re reaching.

      • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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        24 hours ago

        Not currently, but I worked front and back of house for several years at sit-down restaurants, plus fast food back in high school. If someone volunteers to make my job easier and isn’t a jerk about it I don’t see any reason to be upset, seems pretty simple.

        • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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          13 hours ago

          Untrained Customers ‘helping’ sounds like an imsurance liability nightmare.

          I wouldn’t trust a customer to have clean enough hands to roll flatware. Which would be more helpful than crowding the pickup window or drinks booth with strangers.

          Folks who want counter service better skip table service places.

          • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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            6 hours ago

            I was just thinking this would make a good scamming scheme, team up with someone spill hot coffee over them when doing this, sue the restaurant for damages.

          • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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            12 hours ago

            Liability for what exactly? If he’s only handling his own dishes carrying them to the table then the end result is exactly the same as if he handled them at the table.

              • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                2 hours ago

                He can just as easily do that walking across the dining room to the bathroom regardless of who brings his food to his table, it changes absolutely nothing about the risk involved or the legal liability.

                • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  2 hours ago

                  While holding hot food? Surrounded by other guests? Doing the work that the restaurant employee was meant to do?

                  Just sit down and let them do their job. They don’t want your help, I promise you.

                  • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                    1 hour ago

                    Being surrounded by hot food and other guests is unavoidable in a restaurant dining area, that’s kinda the point of the space. Yes actually hot food can be spilled onto a customer by a different customer walking through the dining area for any reason at all, not exclusive to this scenario. I’m not concerned at all with who was “meant” to do the work, as long as the employee in question still gets paid the end result is the same. It’s weird behavior for sure, but not necessarily harmful or malicious.

            • Sweetpeaches69@lemmy.world
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              11 hours ago

              No way. He could spill hot food on a guest at another table, a staff member, or trip and hurt himself and sue.

              • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                11 hours ago

                He could do literally any of those things from his own table or while walking to the bathroom, the insurance/liability situation would be completely unchanged

                • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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                  2 hours ago

                  Nah. A folk like that can really can do a lot more damage standing and imitating workers than sitting at their own table.

                  Anyway, Amnesigenic, it’s not hard to tell you’ve never been held responsible for an operation, perhaps not even your own actions. Sorry your joke broke down when it hit consequences town. Btw I suggest reading at least ONE ToS all the way through.

                  Anyway, definitely an air raid siren. Guy acts like Player 1 and doesn’t even understand how the world works well enough to participate in a way that doesn’t mess up everyone else’s day. Just so he and princess of the week can feel special for ten minutes? Stay home and cook ig?

                  • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                    2 hours ago

                    Nothing about the post implies he’s imitating the employees in any way beyond carrying his own plate. Idk what you mean by “consequences town” the only consequence for me so far has been responding to/correcting people who are hellbent on assuming bad things about this person for which we have no evidence. You are unique in that you weren’t satisfied making things up about him and felt compelled to imagine negative shit about me as well.

                • ulterno@programming.dev
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                  7 hours ago

                  Yeah, but in this case, the waiter will be given problems by the manager.

                  The restaurant is managing their liabilities, but the waiter needs to manage their own too, instead of just the restaurant’s.

                  • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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                    2 hours ago

                    This is the first good point anyone’s brought up so far, the legal liability implications for carrying a plate across the room to his table are negligible but management don’t need legal justification for being assholes to their staff.