Edit: It will never cease to make me laugh that I get more genuinely serious discussion comments on my meme posts in /c/Memes than anywhere else. I’m not hating, I love it.
Edit 2: Chicago-Style deep dish pizza isn’t pizza go fuck yourself
It’s true. I’m a bartender. When I serve a drink in a to-go cup I sometimes get people bitching “oh, that’s all I get?” and then I passive aggressively demonstrate to them that it’s the same as it would be in a pint glass but it’s just shorter and wider.
Especially sucks for people with jaw problems who can’t open their mouth that wide. But you’re totally wrong about deep dish pizza
It’s not a comparison of size, it’s just the formatting of the sandwich to fit better with the way the human jaw is made… What a dumb argument
Burgers should neither be taller nor wider. Just give me two normal sized burgers.
Or eight. I have a large appetite. I’m only 10kg overweight. Honestly, a monster burger sounds pretty good too. I have eaten a few challenge burgers (and won) but the ones that are ten patties tall, you have to dismantle them to eat them. I support wider burgers. But every topping needs to be all across the thing or they are just serving lazy garbage.
I think wider is better so you don’t have to unhinge your jaw like a snake to eat it.
The A&W thing is more about Americans sucking ass at math than the difference between a wider or taller burger.
They had a 1/3lb burger and dipshits thought the 1/4lb was bigger because they don’t understand fractions.
A 1/2 lb is bigger than 1/3 lb; what are you on? Did you mis-state something?
They said 1/3 > 1/4, you misread the comment
They edited it and fixed it now, just didn’t state why they edited.
1/4lb’er*
Royale with cheese
This is a dumb response. Wider is easier to fit in your mouth and doesnt fall apart. Taller is just a mess and challenge to eat
TLDR: it’s not a volume issue, its a distribution
That is the point of the meme.
It’s a reference to the third-pound burger, and how consumers thought 1/3 was less than 1/4.
Exactly. Where I used to work there was a greasy cafe type place around the corner and the baps got wider the more stuff you ordered. If you ordered the Full Monty the burger bap was wider than my head. MY HEAD.
You’re damn right I would order it every time I went in. It was glorious…and very unhealthy, but also glorious.
As a sophisticated man of discriminating taste and impeccable manners, I eat these crazy tall burgers with a knife and fork. Just kidding, I use a knife and fork because they are too tall for my mouth and too messy for my beard.
A beard is for enjoying leftovers later. Get with the program, beardo.
Wider means you get more of the same, taller means you can get more ingredients. If I order a burger with all the fixings, I’d rather a tall burger than lettuce to one side and onion to the other.
I agree that you can get more ingredients, but I can fit a lot of ingredients in a burger that doesn’t have to be a mile high. I don’t want a quarter inch (6+mm) of red onion on a burger. I don’t want a giant piece of lettuce like you mentioned. I don’t need thick tomatoes either.
Not that we should eat this, but I can go toasted Brioche bun, light BBQ sauce, 1/5 pound pattie, pulled pork mixed with Mac and Cheese, caramelized onions, light BBQ drizzle, toasted top brioche bun and that’s a lot to put on a burger but it can be done easily without your mouth having to be unhinged to bite into it. Someone will probably tell me to throw cheese in there, because we Americans are hurting for a heart attack, but still easily doable.
You could also just have 2 regular sized ones or stop being such a fat ass.
Nah. If you put two plates in front of me and one had a regular burger on it and the other had a burger that was as wide as the plate itself, I’d pick the one that most accurately reflects how much I hate myself at that moment.
Schlotzky’s proved this out decades ago.
I’d eat em both
But wider = more taste surface. See smash burgers. Taller is just… more burger to toppings ratio. Diminishing returns, imo.
Smashburgers are about hijaking the Maillard reaction. Thinner meat means more browning.
So the ideal burger is basically the size and shape of a pancake.
A quesadilla.
I went into Applebee’s the other day and saw a quesadilla burger on the menu… I didn’t get it because I didn’t want a burger, but it did look really good.
Unless taller adds additional burgers to the burger. Got this place in my town, they serve their burgers with 2 150g patties. Great stuff!
Until it ends up the thickness of a piece of paper like the Whopper.
Thanks to pizza, even Americans are familiar with the concept of wide
But how many people know that a pizza x times wider is x² times more pizza?
Except in Chicago, cause you know… Deep dish.
I get bigger burgers not for more food but for more satisfying bites. A tall stacked smash burger or a juicy pink tall burger are way more satisfying to bite into
Three or four patties do not make a big burger, in my opinion they begin at 8 stacked, or at least a kilo if it is a single patty. You’re describing a regular snack of a burger. I want all of the fixins too.
I disagree with the glasses part as counterargument. Pizzas are sold by diameter in places that offer large and small - some even do medium. I also believe it would be nicer to have wider burgers instead of taller
Counterpoint - pizzas are sold by diameter, but pretty much everyone I know underestimates how diameter corresponds to actual pizza size and think a 16" pizza is twice as big as an 8" pizza instead of four times as big, which it actually is. Meanwhile, a burger patty that is twice as big as another one is actually twice as tall, while one that is wider is only about ~41% wider. Vertical dimension is more intuitive for the overall mass difference.
Just sell by patty weight.
Until you start selling a 1/3 lb burger to outcompete the 1/4 lb burger, but people are “4 is more than 3!” so your marketing fails…
Them later advertising it as 3/9ths is pretty funny though.
“The one on the right is better because the thingy is lifting it higher and the arrow is pointing to it!” – idiots, probably
Could just switch to grams. Selling by fraction is the problem not by weight itself.
I say this as an American, but these are Americans confused by the concept of fractions. Using grams would likely terrify them more.
And a 1/4lb is 4 oz, which sounds too small (compared to 8-10oz steaks that some people consume). So a 5.33 or even 5.5 oz burger doesn’t sound much bigger.
Yeah most people would think 4 is more than 3! while 3! is actually 50% more than 4.
But a third is less than a quarter!
Um… unfortunately, that doesn’t work, either. ::facepalm::
Well obviously more slices = more pizza.
Well that only works because pizza is a 2 dimensional food
Who would even eat the taller pizza? I’d find it disgusting. I’m not saying anything about the burger.
You have just insulted everyone in Chicago.
I’ll do it, Chicago has terrible taste in food. Deep dish is preposterous, Malort is an abomination, and despite how you feel about ketchup, relish should not look like the ooze that creates ninja turtles.
Chicago bar pizza is a national treasure though
Deep dish is delicious. Lasagna is delicious. Baked ziti is delicious. Calzones are delicious.
Look, you can’t go wrong with tomato sauce, cheese, dough, and optional meat. It’s all delicious, and playing around with different ratios is still great.
on that note: stromboli is def delicious
Thank you. A deep dish pizza isn’t a pizza. It’s, at best, a fucking stew.
It’s a fucking casserole.
I recorded this rant because I’m bored. I fuckin hate deep dish and NY style pizza.
I don’t know what kind of culinary trauma Chicago is working through but their pizza isn’t pizza, it’s a STEW, or at best a stew with ambitions. It’s a stew with a gluten lid. I need a ladle, not a fork. I have to displace sauce like I’m fording the fucking Oregon Trail just to find the crust. It’s lasagna that forgot it was Italian. It’s soup gaslit into thinking it can achieve something. You don’t eat that shit you survive it. You don’t chew it, you contemplate your entire life while shoveling it in and wondering how something with so much molten cheese could still feel emotionally cold.
I’m in agreement with Jon when it comes to Deep-Dish pizza and how it isn’t a pizza but a tomato-laden crime scene in a cast-iron pan. But he comes in so hot and screaming like he’s right about how real pizza folds. No. No Jon. I ain’t ever going to trust a fucking dude from New Jersey when it comes to pizza. That’s just New York opinions with worse parking. It’s like if Staten Island got a podcast and decided it was a food critic. These are people who look at a strip mall and say “This is where I want my Italian food experience to begin.” You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops. They serve slices so thin you could laminate one and use it as a fucking bookmark. Their idea of crust is “whatever’s left after sadness finishes baking.” You pick up a slice and it’ll collapse faster than their economy would if you banned tanning beds.
Fucking Jon motherfucking goddamn Stewart out here talking about how reall pizza fooooolds. Oh. Does it? DOES IT JON? Real pizza folds? My money folds (jiggle jiggle). My spine folds after sleeping the wrong way. My dreams fold under the pressure of existence. That doesn’t make thme LUNCH. But of course he would love this goddamn monstrosity called ‘New York Style Pizza’. You would too if you grew up being told that thin floppy bread covered in oily regret was pizza. It isn’t pizza. It’s barely a suggestion of pizza. It’s whispering the concpet of mozzarella over a saltine while screaming about the Jets.
I love Jon. I really do but I wish he would stick to tearing down Fox News and republicans because when he says NY Pizza is the real deal all I hear is “I enjoy food that is as thin, undercooked and as lacking in substance as a conservative argument.” Stay with eviscerating fascists and not defending pizza that looks like it needs an intervention and a fuckin’ towel.
You bitch about Chicago Pizza? Fucking CHICAGO?!?
Let me introduce you to the abomination I’m trying to eliminate: Quad Cities Pizza
They are called TOPPINGS. toppings, not middleings, for the love of all things just and right.
I make no comment about the merit of your argument either way, but hot damn you love to see the passion!
I’m a big fan of Detroit style. And I’m aware it’s basically focaccia bread with pizza toppings on it.
You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops.
I’ve been getting pizza from NJ for ~45 years. I have never seen this crossover.
Folded pizza is real, and it’s delicious.
I don’t agree with your tastes in food, but I agree, fuck New Jersey.
It’s great to have you back!
This was the most enjoyable read I’ve had since I joined Lemmy! Took me back to reddit just around the Digg-exodus era. Bravo!
I loved the Chicago bit!!! Absolutely hilarious! If new york pizza isnt real pizza what is real pizza in your opinion?
A casserole
For anyone who is not from Chicago, Malort is a bitter liquor that tastes like you poured anise through a filter of mud and used motor oil.
Malort tastes like a practical joke
It tastes like what male cat pee smells like.
Though to be fair, I don’t think Chicago people like it either and only buy it because it’s terrible
From what I understand it’s what you drink at the family reunion once you run out of cheap beer and need to forget how bad Chicago is.
This guy gets it. It’s fascinating being judged on what one puts on a hotdog by the dyed relish gang.
Unsurprising from the same people who light train tracks on fire and lean out on glass 400 stories in the air for a thrill.
Okay, but to be fair, while it is delicious, it also is not “pizza” (insert bit from Jon Stewart:-).
ITS A CASSEROLE!
Gaba gool!:-P
Deep pan pizza is pretty good.
Lol you know nothing about pizza. There’s pizza al trancio, pizza al tegamino, generic pizza alta, pizza doppia pasta (double dough), so on…
Source: Italian
