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Can‘t recover from the death of my cat in october. It totally devastated me.
I feel you, my cat died August ‘23 and I am still having a rough time. I have since adopted two kittens and I love them both so much, but I really miss Polly.
I hope it gets better for you.
If I wouldn‘t have adopted the little jinx i probably would have died. Nontheless, i miss Fenya dearly.
Thanks. I guess it gets a bit easier over time
If you have some spare time, you might try visiting an animal shelter, just to give the animals there some playtime and affection. We are much longer-lived than our pets, and it’s our responsibility to make sure they have the best lives possible. I bet you did that for your kitty, and they were thankful for it.
She was my best buddy for 24 years. I‘ve rescued a kitten already and my now older cat is the best mother she could be.
The next shelter is a bit far away, though, so i am not that often there as i used to be
Discovered my young daughter is self harming so really not great at the moment.
When I was 13, my parents discovered that my younger sister was self harming and even wrote a suicide note (and that she might be closetedly lesbian). All they did was yell at her, berate her, force her to cut up the note and blame social media. Somehow at that age I was more mature than two adults who decided to fucking have children. Though thats the average in arabia I guess…
Please don’t be mad at her, instead help and show that you love and care for her.
That’s a really helpless situation to be in. She’s your daughter, she’s someone whose safety is hugely important to you, and she’s hurting herself so badly. How are you going to try and handle it?
I think we have gone through all the emotions this past week! Speaking to people it seems like we caught it early on compared to others but it is still terrifying.
Yes it is. Stay strong
Awful, depressed, worthless, financially ruined. Currently sitting on my friends couch after sleeping here because my wife and I had the worst fight we ever had over the past 2 days, and I don’t we will recover as we both decided it’s probably best to just part ways but not sure how to make that work yet due to kids and schedules. This is a fun weekend…
I lost the person I felt was my soulmate about 8 years ago to mental illness after she fell down the conspiracy theory well, and eventually changed from a happy healthy empathetic liberal to a MAGA type person in just a couple years. It was, in some ways, worse than losing them to death.
But 8 years (and a lot of therapy) later I feel like life is bright, and I look forward to each day now. I don’t mean to say “Hey just wait the better part of a decade and you’ll feel great”, just that we are resilient and even though things feel terrible for you right now, no matter which way it goes you will eventually feel good again. Stay strong.
And let me give you some unsolicited advice in case you do end up splitting. Try not to be mean or vindictive to your future ex-partner during the process. Not for their sake (they will be out of your life soon), but yours. I regret and am ashamed of things I said and did during my divorce.
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Not great.
Last night my house flooded and I’m still cleaning up water and nasty shit. Everything smells like piss.
It triggered a fight over the fact that I still don’t have a full time job despite months of looking, and we are stuck in this place until I find something better than 3rd party labor.
My vehicle is leaking gasoline while running and the shocks are fucked but I can’t afford to fix it. My wife’s vehicle needs transmission work.
Also… gestures wildly around the US
Depression is a bitch and I don’t have insurance to go to a therapist or get my broken tooth fixed.
So yeah. Not great.
Damn dude, life is kicking you while you’re down, I’m sorry. Keep your head held high whenever you can.
Actually very awesome today. Going to a protest with a new friend. Exciting!
Tired, anxious, depressed, feel like shit in general. Declined an invitation to play boardgames with some old friends this weekend because I feel tired and anxious and depressed and overwhelmed and now I have more anxiety and guilt because I feel like I should have gone and I will further lose contact with them over this and they will hate me now.
It gets like that sometimes and it’s so hard. Dragging yourself through life is exhausting, and it means we don’t have energy for seeing friends. Cancelling plans comes with it’s own problems though, that sets off all sorts of thoughts. How are you trying to manage it today?
To be honest I’m not really managing much, just been alternating between staring at the wall and staring at sports. I might go for a short run later on the treadmill.
I hear you. Going for a run is 100% a good idea it’ll help
I did go for a run and it did help a little.
Great well done
Speaking as someone with anxiety, try not to predict what others feel. You’re likely going to be wrong, and never in a good way. It’s not your responsibility to guess what others are feeling, it’s their responsibility to tell you. Always assume the most neutral opinion from others, and only change that if they say otherwise.
If you need to stay alone to recuperate, then go all-in on it. Let your friends know that you had a bout of anxiety. If you’re worried about them being upset, then not giving them a reason won’t help that.
I wish you the best, and please ask if you have any questions that I might be able to help with.
During Covid, I picked up the guitar again, having given it up decades ago. I didnt expect to play gigs or anything, I just wanted to use the quarantine opportunity to do something positive, and I chose music, over writing a book, learning a language, etc.
Almost five years later, my guitar playing has gotten pretty good, upper intermediate level, and I am good enough to entertain myself, which is all I ever wanted.
What I hadn’t expected was how much of an improvement it would make on my mental health. After being energized by my improving skills, I realized that my mood and self-esteem and confidence were significantly elevated. I am proud of my progress, even if nobody else hears it.
I also realized that I think I’ve been operating under a low-grade depression for a long time, perhaps my entire life. I’ve never addressed it because I thought that was just what life felt like. Once I had a closer look at how much better I could feel, i realized that I haven’t felt “right” for a long time, maybe never. I’m still not sure I know what “right” really feels like.
Now that America has officially gone to Hell, I’m extremely worried about the future (I have a history degree, and am very knowledgeable about politics and history, and know where all of this is leading), but daily, sometimes hourly, doses of music are helping me cope.
Yeah I relate a lot with you on that. But I never managed to actually keep at it. I’ve tried 5 times to pick up the guitar again after giving it up, and always failed.
That didn’t really improve my mental health and self-esteem, ngl. So yeah, all props to you!
Yeah, I get it, guitar is a really hard instrument. I wasn’t starting from scratch during Covid. I was a professional musician as a teen, playing other instruments, and picked up the basics of guitar. I put it aside when I went to college for music history, and then spent many years in the classical music biz.
So I have a very strong music background to draw from. When I picked it up again, it felt like Id never held a guitar before, but I still rembered the chord shapes, and I still had a good grip of music theory. I also have enough musical experience coaching professional musicians that I didn’t need a teacher, I knew what I needed to do to learn this.
On top of all that, the best teachers in the world are on YouTube, so anything I couldn’t figure out on my own, I had plenty of resources to consult.
Despite all of that, the real key was establishing a solid daily practice routine, something I couldn’t do when I was young, in school, working in a record store, partying with friends, and chasing girls. Here’s what I tell new players about practice:
Put your guitar on a stand next to your bed, so it’s the first and last thing you see every day. Play it for about 20 minutes when you first get up, and 20 minutes before going to bed. Then find another 20 minutes sometime during the day.
That will give you 60 minutes per day of sharply focused practice. If you were to practice once a day for an hour, you’d be focused for the first 20 minutes, then your mind starts to wander for the additional 40 minutes. By breaking it up, every minute is focused practice, and you’ll progress much faster. It also gives your fingertips a chance to rest after 20 minutes.
Also, if you miss a session, you only miss one, and you’ll still get 2 others that day. If you only do one long session per day, and you miss it, you miss an entire day of practice, not just 1/3.
If all you do is practice once a day, then you really only get one serious 20 minute practice block each day. So if you do three twenty minute sessions a day, its like jamming 3 days of practice in a single day. At the end of a week, you’ve had 21 days of practice instead of 7. Obviously, your progress will be much, much faster.
So give it a sixth try, but use my practice regimen, and hopefully it will stick this time. Good luck!
I did the same with guitar. Stopped playing nearly 20 years ago and picked up again during Covid. Probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It gives me an outlet I didn’t have before, and I’ve put so much into it with practice and lessons that I’m better than I’d ever have thought I’d be.
Like you, I know enough to entertain myself and that’s perfect. Sometimes I’ll just pick it up and play along with new songs I hear and it still surprises me when I can do that well.
I’ve heard that there was a big guitar boom during Covid, but I’ll bet at least 75% moved on. We’re the survivors, and all the better for it. In a couple years, there will probably be a big used market of barely used Covid guitars.
I just wish Lemmy had one single decent guitar forum. Reddit had a bunch, and I was really active in them, but alas, now that they’ve gone MAGA and purged any dissenters, all I can do is lurk, which is frustrating.
We need to revive the sleepy guitar forums on Lemmy.
Not OK. Did not sleep well, again. Anxiety and frustrations work-related which will impact my home life. I need to rest.
Not sleeping is hard, you need that to function. How’s your sleep hygiene ?
Terrible. A lot of my sleep issues can be traced to my work schedule, which is something I’m trying to improve but my boss is actively working to make worse for me.
When anxiety hits, as it does with unresolved conflict, the negative effects compound exponentially. I can’t fix the root cause right now: I work too late for my well being and I can’t fix that with an incompetent authoritarian at the helm.
Yes it’s just rough for you right now. That’s not good
Awesome, thanks. How are you?
Thanks for asking! I’m good today just got up and I’m gonna train in an hour. Exercise days are always good days!
They definitely are, I’m glad you got to get some workout done. Your reply also reminded me to get off my own ass and give some love to my core, so, thank you for that.
Haha you’re welcome 😊
Between Tai Chi and meditation and yoga and resistance exercise and hiking, and better eating habits to stabilize blood sugar and overall health… everything is fine. Things are chaotic online, but people in the real world are happy and cordial around me and are living their lives all the same. Another thing that helped was not being chronically online. Looking at Lemmy/Reddit/etc/etc every day is depressing. Turns out tuning out more often increases mental health for me.
A bit hopeless but trying to keep it together in spite of all the socio-political problems.
I think that’s all we can do right now
I just wrote about it in a lengthy post, but music has been helping me cope. Find a hobby that can occupy your mind when you start ruminating about concentration camps.
I’m going great outside of one thing. I miss my soulmate. It’s been over 2 years. My heart is still empty. I’m dating again but I feel hollow.
Best wishes. You are still grieving. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date at all, it just means you need to allow yourself to continue grieving even while you move forward with your life. You deserve happiness.
It’s unduly long and complex but made worse that we are still friends and were it not for a specific situation we may still be together. Took me 40 years to find my soulmate only to have them taken away because life told us it was not time and here I am now stuck with not being able to move forward because why would I be able to love another when the one of my dreams is still there within arm’s reach.
It sucks. I’m at least blessed with 3 kids from a previous marriage which give me joy and I have a career I love. I also have many around me who I love and I feel they love me back. It’s just that final puzzle piece. I know where it is. I want to complete my puzzle but I can’t because it’s not possible right now.
Sigh.
Really not great. Can’t motivate myself to keep studying, gotta find a new job because my contract won’t be extended. My boss, who kept telling me everything was good and I did a good job, not only not extended my contract but also wrote me a rather bad recommendation letter. Just told me in a meeting all the “problems” he had with me that haven’t been mentioned in any of the previous meetings. Just feel like shit and would rather never work again and spend my life watching TV shows…
Oh, and don’t forget that the AfD is getting stronger and stronger and will fuck over my trans best friend and my husband, who wasn’t born in Germany and has dual citizenship.
Remind yourself as often as necessary: that’s entirely your boss’s fault. Nobody is perfect hence I know you made mistakes, you human you, but telling you one set of things to your face while spreading the opposite things to others is just such a dick move.
You have some kind of worth, so don’t let your boss gaslight you into believing that crap that he spouted. Even if some portion of it were true, you obviously can’t trust the source. Find a better source of judgement - yourself even if you have time to heal although it sounds like not, so someone else in the meantime.
Touch grass, seriously, it will help - both the nature and the exercise part. TV has its place too, especially in healing, but you’ll want more than that as you regain your confidence. The good news being that YOU are in control of that!:-)
(I am no psychologist tho, just my personal thoughts)
Bad, thanks! But I’m focused on taking care of my mother’s medically delicate cat while convincing a kitten to leave the door to the medically delicate cat alone.
In the dumpster, six days ago i was involved in a pretty severe work related accident which landed me in the hospital. Crushed right leg plus three broken ribs and a collapsed lung. So my mental health is rough right now.
Take that company for everything you can dude. If they are like 99% of companies they will try to limit things you are entitled to. Might even want to talk to a lawyer.
My union (Dansk Metal) is taking the case and theyll drag everyone through hell and back, so no worry. Dansk Metal is one of the most powerful unions in Denmark and will stop at nothing.
Shit, that sucks. What’s the outlook for the leg?
The leg is pretty good, but it will take a long fucking time for the ribs to cure.
Really? They usually heal pretty fast, you must have injured them badly.
I crack a rib or two about once a decade, just to remind myself I’m still alive. Had my break for the 2020s a few weeks ago, and I’m still feeling it with every deep breath or cough. It’ll go away soon, it always does.
Good luck, brother. Get the nastiest pitbull lawyer you can find, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to fuck over an evil insurance company, which is a very satisfying feeling, trust me.
