Also, the first class tickets for the train were totally worth it.
Hey, congrats for taking that big leap, even if it is to the UK (having lived in a couple of places in Europe including over a decade in the UK, my opinion of the UK is pretty low).
It takes a lot of guts to take yourself out of the environment you know (with all it’s implicit expectations of “this is how people behave”) and move into a different environment were people don’t value the same things, expect the same or behave the same.
Good luck!
Thankfully, due to my British father and grandmother, I know some of the basics. But I still have a lot to learn. Thankfully I’ve got us registered with an NHS clinic (waiting to hear back from them) and just got our new phone numbers.
Yeah, it’s a bit of a headache to figure out all those details if you have nobody to help you, though generally you can figure out a lot of those things by talking to coworkers - as a saying from my country goes “Those who have a mouth can get to Rome”
However the “expectations” I was talking about are more the nitty gritty details of interacting with others in everyday life one isn’t really aware are social conventions (because everybody follows the same version of it as you do in your country, so one naturally thinks that’s just the way people behave in general) until moving to a different country and finding out those things aren’t actually universal.
Things like saying “it’s interesting” when an English person asks you your opinion about something is actually being very critical (you can literally use it as an insult), you’re supposed to stand on the right side of escalators if you’re not walking (especially in a Tube station) or that, unless indicated otherwise, you’re supposed to queue for things if there are other people waiting for it.
Figuring this kind of stuff out is actually quiet an interesting personal growth experience, IMHO.
Good luck, I hope you and your child find the UK to be less shitty than America. :)
Having emigrated to France with my kids in 2017, I think you’re making a good decision.
Ah awesome, I was only thinking about you both the other evening and wondered how you were doing.
I hope everything is going well so far.
Welcome to the UK :)
I didn’t know if England was the best choice, but right now I think Neptune is probably better than here.
It was my only choice. I have citizenship here. (Technically I am a “British passport holder” until I go to a citizenship ceremony and say God Save the King and I’m not a spy or something, but whatever.)
Grats on finally making the move! I hope everything works out for you and that you found a beautiful place to live.
Welcome! Hopefully once you’re settled you’ll be able to find a local pub that does a good sunday roast
Welcome to the UK! Not sure on your final destination, but I’m based in South West England. Please feel free to reach out if you need any help or guidance, especially if you’re heading down this way 🙂.
I wish you the best here across the pond. ;)
I’m based around south yorkshire if you need anything squid. Hope you like it here
Thanks! In Blackburn in a VRBO at the moment, but I have no idea where we’ll end up. Looking for work everywhere I can.
Ah you’re just up the road from me. Guessing you changed at Preston? Hopefully you find something soon!
We did indeed change at Preston. And then went everywhere in the station because the lady on the train gave us the wrong directions. After missing the Avanti West Coast train two times and going on the wrong train at Euston once.
Oh wow congratulations. All the best from us left behind! I can’t imagine the undertaking to get out and give everyone who has ever emigrated props.
I wish I could take everyone with me!
Nice now flee to Netherlands. Yes you have to learn Dutch but you can use English in shops or so. Small price to pay to be part of a civilized country
If you decide to do so please bring your own house, we don’t have many available at the moment
I have a British passport, not an EU one unfortunately. Also, I barely made it through high school French, so I’m guessing I won’t be able to learn Dutch.
In my personal experience, learning Dutch as foreigner can only happen by a method akin to being pushed into the deep end of a wimming pool and learning to swim - in other words, you have to be in a situation were your only option is to know how to speak Dutch - and I say this as somebody who can speak 7 languages (though 2 of them are at a “just getting away with it” level).
That said, most Dutch speak excellent English and even the State (not the local but the central one) and the Banks will communicate with you in English if you want, so people can live in The Netherlands for decades without speaking Dutch (some of my Brit colleagues when I lived over there were like that).
The Netherlands is certainly a far safer place for a lesbian teenager than Britain and will remain so simply because seeing an sexual orientations as absolutely normal happens at the level of Dutch Society itself, to the point that their first large Far Right party was led by a guy who from the start openly admitted to being a homosexual.
Having also lived in Britain I would say they’re “complicated” when it comes to tolerance because unlike the Dutch, Brits are big on appearances and judging people, so tolerance its not a natural part of the social posture over there IMHO, whilst gedogen is something the Dutch are actually proud of.
That said, most Dutch speak excellent English
That’s not true, not excellent English. Many speak enough to get by, except the elderly and the young, and some of them speak it well, fewer still excellently. Over four years, I’ve met probably a handful at most who could express their deepest thoughts and desires while pronouncing “th” correctly and their As not as Es.
Many banks won’t take you in if you don’t speak Dutch and it’s harder to find a job (this was in the news just recently, as it happens: nearly all international students are struggling in the job market because they generally don’t learn Dutch, despite there being so many vacancies). You can definitely get by with English, and I’ve heard of many people living here decades without learning Dutch too, but if you want to live well, that’s another thing altogether.
The good news is Dutch is easy if your mother tongue’s English or German but there is indeed a problem in the Randstad of it being hard to convince anyone to let you speak it with them, in part because they often overestimate how well they speak it. There’s a relatively famous quote from colonial Indonesia about how the Dutch colonisers would rather speak bad Indonesian than Dutch, which the Indonesians spoke fluently. I think it’s like a feedback effect with the reputation they have for knowing second languages.
Anyway, details details.
I’m not worried about appearance. She dresses punky like a lot of kids here do. And she’s not trans, just a lesbian, so she will be much safer here than the U.S.
You’re not all too far from Hebden Bridge if you settle up them ways anyway. She’ll be sound. Best of luck to yous.
The concept of “appearences” I’m talking about is much broader than just how people look, and definitelly covers how people talk and behave.
We’re talking about a country were rich people have their very own accent, which is not regional - something which I so far have yet to see anywhere else.
If over there you mix with people who are English middle class or above, you’ll see what I mean soon enough.
They do speak English in the Netherlands. Not very good but enough
Isn’t dutch harder as german to learn?
Duno
Hey, you made it Squid. Congratulations and welcome to the UK. As I previously said when we’ve been in the same thread, anything you need that I might be able to help with just reach out.
Thanks!
Ah congrats on the move, squid. We left the US for the EU in December (planned since the summer) and I can’t imagine a better choice already. I know you’ve got a million things going on, and of course job, housing, etc are all top priority, but I have some lighter advice on getting used to a new place.
To meet some people and make some friends, there are lots of volunteer opportunities. It’s a fun, helpful, community building way to give a little back.
London has a TON of ex-pats/immigrants. Not that the point is to meet a bunch of Americans or anything, but any you do have left for a reason, so they’re more likely to be like minded.
Say “yes” to any bids for connection you can. Even if getting invited to an activity that isn’t your jam, if you get an invite, go! It can be lonely at first, and feel like drinking is the only way to meet anyone. But social circles can spread quickly once you get them a little off the ground.
Have fun, and enjoy some piece of mind!
Thanks!
Welcome to our side of the pond, friend!
Wow! You weren’t kidding.
I’m so glad you got out, you’re one of my favorites.
Thank you, and likewise!
