Cheated multiple times on multiple partners. I only ever stopped with my most recent ex because the partner before her taught me that I really only hurt myself in the end, doing all of this. I learned so many lessons throughout the years due to being reckless and negligent, I lack forward thinking and thus, I end up in such precarious situations, it’s almost unbelievable that I am not mentally or emotionally crippled by my own actions.

I have also been told I am a bad partner by most of them, here is a mix of paraphrases: I am aggressive, I have narcissistic tendencies, I lack empathy, I am mean, I am cruel, I am distant, I am negligent, I am forgetful, I am selfish, I aim to manipulate, I lovebomb, I am possessive which eventually leads to controlling behavior, I am emotionally or mentally abusive although I don’t try to physically harm because that crosses a boundary for me for some odd reason but I (used to be) ok with the rest of the list. There’s a bunch of others, and it’s almost an exhaustive list. It goes on. I’m not even joking. Therapy has saved me in a way, forced me to heavily introspect. I can probably benefit from a lifetime of it, or at least, until I learn to “love” myself.