Funny enough there was a dude in highschool who thought the same thing. He was scared of the Wiccan girl who drank way too much coffee and was very whimsical but I met her a couple times outside of school and she was just getting her ass kicked by being awake too early and sleep deprivation. I was the same way just swap whimsy for violence.
What about 10 Gustav railway guns loaded with WP shells?