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Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • Sorry you feel that way. Just know that if you do choose something and tell her you’d like to have it for the birthday dinner, it doesn’t actually have to be something you love or like, your mom is just looking for some ideas and in the end whatever she puts together - either by your input or what she comes up with on her own, she’s making it with love and it will taste great. The dinner is less about the specific dish and it’s more a chance for her to share some time with you and give you some attention to show she loves you. It’s ok to be loved and ok to have some attention, especially from your mom.

    You guys are family and she’s a person too and she loves her son. Let her know how you feel if you like, but remember she’s only doing what seems normal to her to celebrate the occasion with her son and maybe even make a positive happy memory or two for you both to look back on when you guys are apart again.

    Going back home will probably make you regress a little too since it brings back a lot of feelings of childhood that you’ve now left behind, so keep that in mind because those can subconsciously affect you but if you try stay in the moment and see you mom as a person in your life that loves you and genuinely cares about you it can help.

    All the best and Happy Birthday.











  • If any of the above or none, therapy like acupuncture can be really helpful. Is the source of the pain known?

    Aside from solving the issue for her, the issue you have needs to also be addressed and it’s probably best to start with an honest conversation with her, to let her know how you feel. The point of this is to vocalise the thoughts and see if you can both assist to help each other. It can’t always be one way with internalised frustration being withheld, you are a team and she should realise and understand. There’s not much she might be able to do for you, but even if it’s to agree with you and give you a bit of space, to feel like you have the permission to not be “on call” 100%, then you can guilt free start to manage some time for yourself. In the end this is good for both of you because you get the recharge you need to ultimately continue supporting her. Try keep each other on the same side of this thing and you’ll be right, if it starts into a tit for tat thing and you go against each other it’s not going to be beneficial.

    An option that may exist depending on where you live and if you don’t have you own support network of family and friends are carer support groups. This can help you talk to others in a similar situation and get some social interaction at the same time.