I might be missing the joke, but Bartender is actually a real program for managing barcode readers!

Source: It was revealed to me in a dream.

I was just coming to say this, thanks!

I just use 'em to either launch my enemies on low-grav planets, or to make the AI leave cover if I can’t be arsed to flush 'em out myself.

Bust a couple caps in the Well, and everyone starts screaming; it’s pretty hilarious because it keeps going way longer than necessary.

Hmmm, still no apple… Better stare a little longer, just to make sure I’m not gay.

Real talk, if even Steam is Chromium-based, how can I escape? Is there a non- or less-evil, but similar launcher? I’m trying to shift away, but it’s really difficult since everyone I know uses at least one, usually many of those programs.

Oof, you’re right! My bad

Cagey war veteran forms a militia and starts recruiting troops at banana-point.

Yo, YO, IS THAT SOMA?!

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

Oh, most definitely! They added a ton of random encounters, throne room encounters, and a crap-ton of other content. It’s got waaay more stuff, including QoL stuff like the ability to invade more than once. Highly recommend another look!

My jam is an indie game called Warsim! It’s got a delightful arena battle minigame that you can bet on, complete with audience interference, a spike pit, and goblin streakers. After that, you can have a pint of various drinks in one of dozens of unique taverns, and round out the evening by presiding over the royal court and issuing decrees, proclamations, and dropping unruly petitioners through my personal trapdoor.