I think the impermanence of life is one of the most difficult things to accept, but once you do, there is some beauty to it too.

I think it is or at least should be one of the biggest motivators to try and live in the now. I have been the most happy, when I try to live in the now and appreciate what I have right now. It takes a bit of practice but it is doable and it a great antidote to anxiety and depressive thoughts in my experience. You cannot live in the now all the time, but aiming toward it, is a good way to spend the limited time you have in this life.

Big hugs to you.

First of all, I’m truly sorry that you have had this experience. It hurts my soul that you, from the age of 9 have felt that life isn’t worth living. I do hope you have had good moments too and life hasn’t been all misery for you because fuck. That isn’t how it should be for anyone!

As for myself, I will say that I do not have an official diagnosis, but display MANY ADHD symptoms, just in the more inward sort of way.

So for me, growing up, I was pretty good at being sort of invisible in school so i was never really yelled at, but i did get bullied a lot and i was projected to have a very low IQ by a couple of teachers which has stuck with me my whole life. I did experience a lot of rejection too both from peers but also from one of my parents. Later in life I have realized that almost everything about me that was rejected by others had to do with my symptoms.

I did think I would have kids someday, but I didn’t want kids until I had a reasonable income and a house and neither ever happened to me. I also didn’t want kids until I was mentally mature enough for it and that never happened either.

I love children and I’m really good with kids, but I will never be a mother. I cannot do that to them.

I can’t give them a home nor financial stability and I cannot promise that will be a good parent either.

I am extremely scared of the idea of becoming a parent and then turning out to be a monster to my kid.

I don’t want to be selfish. My self worth is in the dumpster when it comes to believing i would ever be good enough to be a parent. People used to not understand it. Sometimes they still don’t.

But it is what it is. I’m not going to fuck up somebody else’s childhood. Instead I can be an aunt to other people’s kids and be useful that way. I think that is better.

Yeah, I think those memories are to be cherished. Your apartment setup back then genuinely sounds like a setup for a wholesome sitcom xD

It’s stuff like that, that makes me have very few regret from my 20s because I full on just wanted to make friends and throw myself into a bunch of scenarios with them while I had the chance and was still young.

When I hit 30, I was like “I’m ready to move forward”.

Still miss it sometimes. That closeness and the goofy shit we got up to sometimes. Also just the hanging out on those lazy evenings. Good times ❤️

I get your point, but let’s not compare them to one of the biggest polluters in the world. Farmers fucking destroy our planet.

Jeg synes stadig at det er pinligt og klamt at vi har danske influencere. Det er simpelthen så udansk at bruge sit liv på at være en attentionwhore og derefter tude over hvor hårdt det er fordi man vælger at sige og gøre hvad der lige falder en ind i nuet, samtidig med at man leger professionel virksomhed.

Jeg ville fanme skamme mig hvis jeg eller én jeg kendte valgte at blive influencer. Vi bor i Danmark. Tag jer sammen.

I know it is popular to shit on Friends these years, but I think that it captures the growing up part of life pretty well as the show is basically about capturing a snapshot in time of a group of friends when they were the closest before adult life tore them apart. Because that is how the show ends. They all grow up, have adult responsibilities, different priorities and they all leave the apartment complex to start new lives away from one another.

In my 20s I had a group of friends for awhile and we would hang out in each other’s apartments all the time, sometimes we would sleep over at each other’s places and have breakfast together before heading to school. We would go on picnics and excursions together. All pile into the old, rusty car that one of us owned and drive somewhere.

We had a pub we liked to visit semi-regularly and we were pretty 50/50 men and women.

When we got our degrees, most of us packed up and left. We are now in our 30s and some have had kids in the meantime while most of us have grown apart. Some of us still keep in contact and hang out when our schedules permits it, but it isn’t like it was when we were in our 20s.

To me, Friends is an idealized version of the friends group stuff in your 20s. To me it isn’t as unrealistic as it’s being made out to be nowadays, but it is idealized.

I treasure the few years I got to have good friends and classmates that I loved to hang out with and treat as family. No matter how much time passes, whenever we get to meet up again, it is almost like no time has passed at all, and that is such a great feeling, even if we only get to see each other like once a year.

Det er især latterligt fordi de fleste kvinder faktisk ikke går så meget op i det med højde.

Jeg er selv sammen med en mand som teknisk set er for høj til mig, men jeg er så også pisse lav og havde oprindeligt en romantisk forestilling om at min fremtidige partner og jeg skulle være nogenlunde samme højde. Alt over 170 var teknisk set for højt til mig. Men altså, i sidste ende var det bare ikke skide vigtigt. Det var mere en nice to have.

Gik langt mere op i om vi havde matchende værdier og var på vej i nogenlunde samme retning i livet. Det håber og tror jeg da også stadig er tilfældet for de fleste singler derude. Man hører nok bare ikke så meget om dem, der er fornuftige og har realistiske forventninger til en partner.

Alle par jeg kender er sammensat af folk, der prioriterer personlighed og værdier frem for udseende. Jeg kan faktisk ikke huske nogensinde at have snakket med en kvinde, der gik op i sin kæreste eller mands højde. Det har faktisk aldrig været på tale og var heller ikke noget der var fokus på da jeg var ung.

Jeg føler virkelig at alt det der højde-halløj er noget manosfæren har konstrueret og blæst op. Ligesom trad-wife trenden. Det var heller ikke en ting da jeg var ung. Det er da slående at alle de her underlige præferencer er blevet solgt som fakta inde for de seneste år. Det plejede ikke at være sådan her.

Omg, I thought she was crossing her arms in the top part of her dress. Like she was cold and needed to warm her arms.

Captain Obvious and Captain Hindsight are very busy these months.

Whatever their reasons for screeching, it’s not something I care to be around.

We have all screeched at some point, especially online. I’m not innocent either, I have just grown out of it and seek to engage with people in more productive ways.

It is one of the reasons I came here in the first place because silly me believed this place would be full of rational and mature people and they are certainly here too, but holy shit have I been overall disappointed in the tone on this platform. To me it is no different than Meta, Twitter and Reddit and maybe I was a fool for believing there would be a platform online where people act normal and are able to have a discussion without becoming hysterical and flinging insults as the first measure of rebuttal.

Yeah. Kinda feels like being at a nonstop spa. Hope you and everyone else either have or will soon have this zen mode available to you too, because sheesh, it is so nice to feel like this.

I have reached a sort of zen-mode inside. After almost 2 years of near nonstop stress, I have finally found some calm in the middle of everything. Things are still chaotic and uncertain and all that, but I just don’t really worry about it right now. I don’t know how long I’ll feel this way, but I intent to ride this wave and nurture it for as long as possible, because this calm is like a glass of water in a desert.

It’s pretty cool to see that the changes I have implemented have already paid off.

I feel so free and I hope it lasts longer than a week.

Jeg går ud fra at du bruger sarkasme når du siger “uforudsigeligt” xD

Som forventet.

Oh man, we had so many weird movies.

While my mom was in charge of nurturing a broad taste in music, my dad was in charge of taping movies of all kinds and showing them to us.

He waited for me to turn 13 to watch Seven Samurai and several other Kurosawa movies. We watched all the old Pink Panther movies, a couple of Jacques Tati films (Mon Uncle being our favourite when we had the flu), Le Ballon Rouge, multiple Soviet animated movies, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Charlie Chaplin’s Gold Rush, Gloria, The Blues Brothers and on and on and on.

I owe a lot to my parents for instilling a broad music and movie taste in me super early.

I’m sure kids of today form their own valuable memories, but their reality is so foreign to us that we only see it as a threat.

I’m a pretty big fan of the podcast Creepcast on youtube and one of the cohosts grew up on creepypastas online which is very interesting to listen to whenever he talks about the nostalgia for him and many others. I was already in my 20s when creepypastas became a thing online so to me, it is interesting to hear what childhood was like for the 20somethings of today, who all grew up on the internet and have fond memories of it.

The kids of today will have their stories too and they will also be interesting to listen to, I’m sure. It is differnet than growing up on worn out cassette and VHS tapes, but it doesn’t make it all bad. Things just change over time.

Det er nok sådan noget. Måske også et forsøg på at holde stemmer på midten så de ekstreme ydrefløje ikke bliver mere populære eller sådan noget. Dansk politik i moderne tider er en sjov størrelse. Det bliver spændende at se hvordan det former sig når vi kommer ud på den anden side af disse turbulente år.

For mig at se er det totalt selvmål, men jeg har jo kun min lille boks at stå på ovre i mit lille hjørne og måske er der en genial logik jeg bare ikke kan spotte i samme dur som at jeg ikke kan forstå at skattelettelser skulle give mere velfærd osv.

Der er nu noget ironisk i at man i et forsøg på at bekæmpe kvindeundertrykkelse i muslimsk kultur udelukkende straffer kvinderne for noget de med meget stor sandsynlighed ikke har den fulde kontrol over.

Tillykke, nu har I blot hjulpet deres familier til at isolere dem yderligere fra det bredere samfund. Good job 👍

Langt de fleste tilfælde jeg har hørt om med muslimske kvinder, der er helt tildækkede, der er det næsten altid deres ægtemænd og svigerfamilie, der bestemmer det. Har ikke kendt nogle af dem personligt, men min tætteste veninde, der selv er Muslim, arbejder sammen med en del af dem i sit hjemland og der er ingen af dem, der slev har valgt det. Det er 100% svigerfamiliens og ægtemandens værk hver gang.

Når vi indfører sådanne forbud i Danmark er det for mig næsten det samme som hvis en kvinde dukker op med et blåt øje og en flækket læbe hjemmefra og får at vide at hun ikke må komme på sin uddannelse før hun ser normal ud fordi hendes udseende er stødende for andre og uddannelsen støtter ikke op om kvindeundertrykkelse.

Alt imens kan mændene vade ind og ud uden problemer fordi de for det meste ikke bærer religiøse klæder i hverdagen.

Men altså skidt med de kvinder der. Vi kan alligevel ikke se dem, så hvorfor skulle vi forsøge at komme dem i møde hvor de er?

This is like saying that everything is religious and that everyone is religious and then making arguments for why everything can be turned into religious doctrin.

You’re technically not wrong if you choose to have that lens on for everything, but it is a very limiting way of viewing the world and to someone like me, borderline madness.

It is also more of an uhm actually argument rather than engaging with the point I was making that I think most of us are aware of. When someone says they would like to avoid politics they are more often than not referring to the aggressive and argumentative stupidity that occurs between people when certain inflamed topics - usually current events in politics - are brought up. It is pretty easy to discern that from anyone who says “can we just not talk about politics right now?”

Much like dicks and religion, some people just don’t want that shit shoved down their fucking throats constantly because it is rarely if ever productive and beneficial to anyone. It is, at most a passing contest or an attempt to shame and attack people who sees the world differently from yourself.

For what it’s worth, I am very appreciative of you making me aware of Knockout as an alternative. 🤗