Please for fucks sake Canada, annex New England and the New York City Metro area as war reparations when this shit is over. We’re economically productive!!
Include Colorado and Hawaii.
I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.
Isn’t Wisconsin like a cold version of Alabama?
No, I’m living there now, and the city I’m in feels like a wannabe California (aka liberal, techy, high housing costs, etc)
Yeah, it sucks. But Look at that map. Those lakes are fairly important. Well either that or do a Robert Evans plan and just nuke them.
Bump for nuking the so called “Great” lakes
Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this “trade”?
Where they’re going they don’t need no universities.
Nobody’s going to go there after abortion is banned.
Nobody wants their prince or princess saddled with that.
Why would I want to join Canada??? I don’t do well in the cold smh my head
-Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).
-Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).
-Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).
-Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.
-Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.
-You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.
-Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.
-Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).
-The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.
and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).
(We couldn’t find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)
Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!
I can assure you that the vast majority of Canadians are well aware of that fact and totally disinterested in become part of the US or taking on any part thereof.
Americans joining Canada would have to give up their guns and other weapons, compete that training and licensing processes, and if successful would have the revocable and modifiable privilege of owning a very small selection of approved guns. They would have to accept that religious freedom in Canada, which is much higher than in the US, means that you are free to practice your religion in any way you choose as long as it doesn’t effect anyone else’s rights and you are free to have no religion at all. They would have to accept that it is settled law in Canada that a woman’s healthcare decisions are between her and her healthcare provider and none of anyone else’s business. They would have to accept that everyone has the right to marry, has had the right for decades, and that the only thing destroy traditional marriage is traditionally married people. They would have to accept that free speech in Canada does not include racism or hate speech. Most Americans would not fit in in Canada and we are not interested in becoming Americans and giving up the things that make us the best country in the world.
Not really. Canada’s getting all the states that are doing the heavy lifting in those shitty numbers. If not for them, every metric would be worse.
How are you now ✋
Good and you
Not s’bad
Is this an unlabeled bad joke that’s too close to what an actual idiot would say in real life?
We are on Lemmy, so it’s mostly still save to assume the first case
I actually liked the joke too
I thought the SMH my head was the label…
Australia can come too. THE END!
Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.
Oh man I’d love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don’t have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.
Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.
I wouldn’t mind becoming a part of Canada so long as I still can get my financial aid for college. That, and we make it so anything coming in from Asia to the US has to either go to through us and we make them pay a little extra for it, or it be sent along another route.
michigan is obviously already canadian _
I’m a Canadian and my dream is to one day fake my death and move to Minnesota where I can live in a small cabin away from anyone.
Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I’ll also throw in Hawaii for free.
Having Arizona would a big L for Canada
You’d have to create a corridor through Southern Idaho and Northern Utah to join the new state of “New Mexirado” with the rest if you removed Arizona… Hard work, but I believe it could be done.
As a New Mexican, I approve either of these options to join Canada
Yeah, but how else do they get Colorado and New Mexico?
Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.
Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do
Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.
Eastern Oregon is already trying to join Idaho anyway
We should give Texas to Mexico just to spite them
Brilliant.
Y’all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.
A couple tweaks: Include Illinois and the eastern part of Pennsylvania. (edit: I see you did get Chicago, maybe just go a bit further south?).
I think they’d maybe rather be independent?
I don’t think this is framed as a takeover.
why not Alaska too?
Listen.
MD will take Pennsylvania and bring it into new Canadania as long as we can bring West Virginia with us too.
They’re dumb but they’re our dumbs.
You don’t wan the middle of PA… Maybe if they just turn everything between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh into a weapons testing site? Turn it into “no man’s land” like it was always mean to be.
Get Virginia too!
Fuck that bougie ass state. Entirely occupied by weapons contractors. Leave them in New Honkia
I was just hoping to be Canadian.
move to Chicago.
You forgot Colorado. But yes.
hello. illinois.
I’m accept Illinois too.
On behalf of California, we accept this proposal, and we accept Canada as our new federal government.
I also propose we officially refer to the remainder of the US as “Dumbfuckistan”.
Trump: Fine, they can have California for all I care.
Advisors: Sir, if California were its own country it would be the world’s 6th largest economy.
Trump: How about if we just send all the Mexicans there with some beautiful rakes?
They are already here. Who the fuck you think does the farming?
They’ve been there since like the 1500s. Lol.
5th largest
Wonderful news, everyone!
Solving the problem is dissolving all borders so the working class isn’t divided into easily managed nation states.
