Firecracker is the nearest thing to a red rocket, so
Why did they write “to” as 2, but then the actual number 1 as “one”?
Firecracker and it’s not even close. I’ve put ice cubes up there before and it wasn’t nearly as bad as you’d imagine. The shape of it will make it easy. Plus, the ridges on it mean you’ll have less ice in contact with your skin. At some point it melts and it’s just a Popsicle stick.
Edit: Additional thoughts on this because I can’t stop thinking about how goofy this is lol. I’ve cream sandwich and to a lesser degree the chipwich are tempting. The difficulty would be that they just crumble and don’t really go in, but you have to shove it in. I’m counting melted ice cream/ice that comes out after it’s in as not needing to be reinserted. I’ve cream sandwich “crust” is actually very soft so it wouldn’t be bad to have in there. It’s just the process of getting it in would be very weirdly difficult.
Many of the other choices (like the snow cone thing and push pop) have a lot of plastic parts that make it basically impossible.
The drumstick may seem tempting but it’s just gonna crack and hurt.
Once the popsicle stick of the firecracker is in, you just softly pull it out. The biggest risk is splinters, but I don’t think popsicle sticks in popsicles ever really have splinters like the loose ones you can buy for projects.
What you’re not even gonna give me the sponge Bob as a choice??
In Germany we have an ice cram called Flutsch Finger for exactly that purpose.
In you go tweety bird
Not including a Golden Gaytime in these options is a real missed opportunity…
That’s so weird - I heard about, for the first time, and looked up this ice-cream only this morning. There was a failed petition to change the name, which generated a number of counter petitions.
Truly a (reverse?) shitpost.
Asked my girlfriend for a second opinion, she said Screwball backwards and she’s right, damn it.
I’ve seen enough EMT Tiktok to know that I need a flared base.
So I’ma have to go with screwball but upside down
Firecracker would be the least cumbersome. But I always wondered what it would be like to be penetrated by a taco, instead of the other way around.
You fuck tacos?
Of the pink variety.
Anyone who doesn’t choose a Creamsicle is not getting the full experience of something up your ass
Probably the firecracker
Firecracker for ease, Tweety to please.
I wish I hadn’t read this.
Firecracker.
Aerodynamic.
Fleshodynamic*
