feels like this would go viral on Facebook.
Fuck it. I wanna suck a dick before everything goes tit’s up.
Like a clean and kinda cute one though. Non dick type of dick ya kmow
How bendy are you?
Why did this have to pass 666 up votes,
Could’ve been left at 666 updates and this post would be even better
This looks like an email my boomer dad would forward to everyone he knows.
Fwd: re: re: re: re: Operation Candyman O(s)bama
check your candy for fentanyl this year because Obama hates white kids!
Huh? When are you guys celebrating Halloween? The only Friday 13ths in 2024 are in September and December.
Also I thought the calendar cycles every 400 years. So if Fri 13th Oct 2024 exists, which it doesn’t, then Fri 13th Oct 1624 and 2424 also, er, don’t exist.
♫ In the year 2424, if trolls are still alive… ♫
Yes. Since Halloween is the last day of October, the 31st, it’s kinda never on the 13th. So yeah, it’s a shitpost.
That is what you heathens want us to think!
Dang it I already forwarded this to my church group o well.
Well if we’re going through another doomsday scenario then hopefully this one puts us out of our misery this time.
We deserve it ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKC21wDarBo
If we declare it “the floor is lava” day, would that mean he can’t walk on earth?
When you believe in things that you don’t understand then you suffer.
Superstition ain’t the way
this is why I’m a computer denialist
They’re just rock sprites trapped and tricked into doing math
I call it sand that’s been tortured so much they started doing math.
let my people go
Why would computers need a dentist?
Stevie Wonder much?
As a devout Last Thursdayist I invite you all to share in the weirdness this year, as Halloween falls on a Thursday. Join me in celebrating the existential horror of not knowing if the universe was created mere hours ago with the appearance of age while handing out free candy and watching scary movies.
I’m a devout Carcinizationist. May your bucket be filled.
My self esteam decreased drastically after realising
Unfortunately this won’t happen until October 31st 2600. Starting on March 1st in the year 2600, the Julian calendar (popular in centuries past, and still used in a few places) will differ by 18 days from the Gregorian calendar (the current worldwide standard calendar).
It happens that October 31st in the year 2600 lands on a Friday, and so the Julian October 13th, which lands on that same day, is also a Friday.
There may be a sooner Friday the 13th that lands on Halloween, if you know of other obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars. I don’t know enough about those to check.
obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars
That’s not very nice to say, also very false
I eagerly await your writeup on whichever calendar you think I need to know more about.
I love it when people over analyze shitposts. Well done!
It’s also always either 5, 6 or 11 years (or 7 in very rare cases, when you’re on both sides of a skipped leap year like 1900 or 2100) between “day X falls on day of the week Y” events unless you’re talking about February 29.
Me: a complete dumbass.
“I could swear it happened once when I was a kid”
“…Wait a second…”
This makes me feel like I did the first time I saw a full blood moon. Amused but ultimately disappointed that the world didn’t end.
sorry, all out of blood moon. we do have a really nice eclipse though.
take my advice, leave the family at home for this one. you’ll come back as a changed man!
What about a pale blood moon?
You did it wrong pal, you’re supposed to fish during the blood moon.
I prefer to cook then.
You’re gonna get your ass kicked by a Dreadnautilus doing that
I’m gullible as hell I showed this to my gf super excitedly
Don’t feel bad. I once showed my then-girlfriend news of a Firefly renewal on April 1st.
You can’t take the sky from me.
🍃
Straight to jail.
Not sure I get it.
Well I asked ChatGPT if that is true. It’s so cool that ChatGPT isn’t allowed to tell me how stupid that question is
Yes totally reliable and accurate chatpgt
Chin up, now you know she really loves ya
She might have dumped them immediately, you don’t know
I actually shit his pants for him and then gave him a forceful blumpkin, he cried after.
Cried with joy about how much he loves you?
You can’t just move holidays. Who do you think you are, the President of Venezuela?