Following up on this post https://lemmy.ml/post/18558315 I made not too long ago.
I went on a few more dates with him and I just was feeling similarly unsure. And I’ve felt like I’ve wanted to possibly end things because I was scared about things escalating, like if he asked to be my boyfriend or if we became more intimate. And I did keep feeling like I need to end things.
So I broke it off with him today, and I just broke down crying for like 30 minutes. I’ve never cried over a guy before and I feel like maybe I made a mistake. I didn’t realize my feelings were strong enough to make me cry. But in the moment when I am with him it hasn’t felt like I was feeling much of anything.
I guess I’m just looking for advice on how can I better understand my own feelings in these situations and not be so uncertain. I really feel like I don’t understand my feelings and don’t know what to do based off of that so any advice on how to be more in-tune with my feelings would be appreciated.
It’s perfectly normal to feel grief even if the person or situation weren’t right for you. You are grieving what future might have been or your dream of having a happy relationship. But your dream isn’t dead and gone – you can still have that dream with someone else.
Just because you’re grieving it doesn’t mean you made a bad choice per se, it’s just that your body needs to go through this cathartic process.
Our feelings aren’t necessarily right – it’s possible to feel anxiety that makes us feel stuck when we need to get on with our lives. It’s also possible to mourn the death of a relationship that wasn’t right for you in the first place.
How are you feeling right now?
Sadness is a normal feeling that helps us slow down (like in Upside Down) to get a break when things get too much. It doesn’t mean you made a bad choice.