Following up on this post https://lemmy.ml/post/18558315 I made not too long ago.

I went on a few more dates with him and I just was feeling similarly unsure. And I’ve felt like I’ve wanted to possibly end things because I was scared about things escalating, like if he asked to be my boyfriend or if we became more intimate. And I did keep feeling like I need to end things.

So I broke it off with him today, and I just broke down crying for like 30 minutes. I’ve never cried over a guy before and I feel like maybe I made a mistake. I didn’t realize my feelings were strong enough to make me cry. But in the moment when I am with him it hasn’t felt like I was feeling much of anything.

I guess I’m just looking for advice on how can I better understand my own feelings in these situations and not be so uncertain. I really feel like I don’t understand my feelings and don’t know what to do based off of that so any advice on how to be more in-tune with my feelings would be appreciated.

  • hendrik@palaver.p3x.deEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    Some form of commitment phobia / anxiety?

    But sometimes it’s just difficult to tell why there is a feeling of uncertainty. Especially in a situation itself. Maybe it’ll become more clear with a bit of distance and viewing back.

    Ultimately, I don’t think we have enough information to analyze your character. Maybe you should ask yourself why you were afraid of things happening too fast in the first place. And practice stating your needs and desires. I’m also not entirely sure if you cried because of him, or because you yourself weren’t able to steer into the right direction…

    In case you’re not that old: It’s common to mess up, if that’s the right word. You didn’t necessarily do anything wrong. Dating and feelings are complicated. And you’re bound to experience a few setbacks. You’ll learn and get more practice. And some wisdom comes with age. That also applies to inner emotional life.