I have occasional bathroom issues caused by food sensitivities (damn your delicious yet toxic nature, nacho cheese).

These bathroom issues involves pooping a bunch of times in one day. The frequent pooping and wiping severely irritate my poor butthole, aggravating hemorrhoids and anal fissures.

I know lots of people around here swear by the miracle of bidets, but before I start shopping around, I’m wondering if there are any naysayers out there who just don’t like bidets, along with why that’s the case.

Bonus question: how do I use a bidet? Most of the instructions I’ve found are a bit delicate about the details. Anyone want to give me a detailed description of how and what to do?

My swollen, bloody anus thanks you.

  • JGrffn@lemmy.world
    252·
    1 year ago

    Alternatively, if your bidet has the strength and you’re manly enough not to be confused by getting ass fucked every day, loosen up a bit and let the mighty Poseidon fuck your ass, then push the water [and the extra poop] out once you feel the water mounting up. Repeat a few times, then tighten back up for the wiping shot.

    Warning: this can make your anal muscles lazy, and it’s admittedly taboo to get ass fucked by your bidet, but I’ll swear by it until the day someone tells me it causes cancer, and then I’ll keep swearing by it until I get cancer.