Someone recently told me that they sometimes feel gaslighted around me because I effortlessly make them question their beliefs and feelings. Hearing that didn’t sit well with me, especially since I’ve been pondering the question in the title for quite some time.

I’ve always been quite critical of myself and don’t consider myself a very nice person. When I discover that someone doesn’t enjoy being around me, I don’t blame them one bit. It’s not like I’m intentionally mean or abusive; quite the opposite, actually. I have very strong morals. However, this includes things like not lying, which means I always speak the truth, even if not everyone likes hearing it. I don’t conform to many social norms expected of me.

Despite all of this, I have deep relationships with several people and especially the elderly and for example the parents of my past girlfriends have all liked me a lot. But I can’t help but wonder why they don’t see me as I see myself. I worry that I’m hiding the true me so well that people don’t actually like me, but rather the facade I unknowingly maintain. Then again, a true psychopath probably wouldn’t be second-guessing themselves in this manner.

  • MildlyArdvark
    15·
    9 months ago

    Are you capable of feeling guilt or remorse? If so you are probably not a psychopath. If not you might have some traits. In any case you might want to see a professional.

    Also autism is often mistaken for some degree of psychopathy. As an autist I have personal experience with this.

    • Thorny_Insight@lemm.eeOP
      12·
      9 months ago

      Oh definitely. I just had a spider get stuck on a glue trap meant for thrips and I felt bad the whole day.

      • agent_flounder@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        9 months ago

        From the comfort and authority of my armchair, as a (fake) psychologist, I declare that you can’t be a psychopath if you feel guilty about a spider (and other beings, especially humans).

        I think of gaslighting as manipulation of a victim by an abusive person by causing the victim to doubt their own feelings and perceptions, thereby gaining control over them. They do this by convincing the victim that what they are feeling and observing is false and the fault of the victim rather than the abuser.

        This has a better explanation and some clear examples:

        https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/what_is_gaslighting_abuse/