This time of year is meant to be filled with joy and family get-togethers, but not everyone has family or anything to be happy about. So are you ok?

  • NickwithaC
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    656 months ago

    Of course not. I’m a millennial on anti-depressants, working a zero-hours contract job with no hope of ever owning property in my lifetime, living in a developed country with solved problems but a populace too spiteful to ever implement the solutions.

  • @vexikron@lemmy.zip
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    436 months ago

    Nope, not ok.

    Doctors told me I have autism a year ago, I told my family, they thought I was delusional and insane and tried to force me into a mental asylum in the middle of nowhere.

    Got all my stuff, put it in my car… got mugged, car got stolen, spent a year homeless. Credit ruined, everything I have ever owned is gone, and the best part was all the rest of my friends and family either didnt believe me when I told them what was happening to me, thought I was insane… or were too busy to handle all my drama right now.

    At least I can write on lemmy I guess.

    • Dr. CoomerOP
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      216 months ago

      I wish there was more I could do for you than just sit here and talk to you.

      • @vexikron@lemmy.zip
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        56 months ago

        Well, thanks!

        I would do a Go Fund Me or something like that but I am too worried they would find me.

    • @Azzu@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      How does it go from “the doctor’s tell me I have autism” to “you’re delusional and insane”? That can’t be the only thing that happened, I mean that you told your family?

      • @vexikron@lemmy.zip
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        6 months ago

        My father is a delusional QTard who believes that Tom Hanks’ son kills eats and rapes children for adrenochrome, believes that ANTIFA did Jan 6th, and took great pride in showing me where and how he assembles firearms without serial numbers. Also he drank and drove so much he had to have an interlock device on his car for 7 years.

        My brother, who I was living with, barely passed high school as he was spending all his time going to raves, doing so much MDMA/Ecstasy that he gave himself Serotonin Shock Syndrome, believes Shadow People are real, believes he can see peoples ‘auras’, was constantly pressuring me into doing hallucinogenic mushrooms, and believes it is funny to gaslight his schizoeffective girlfriend by telling her that everything that she did or said to him in the past 30 minutes /did not actually happen/, and then go ‘haha just kidding, love you babe smooch

        My mother has a neurological disorder, spent her childhood doing any random drugs anyone would hand her on the street, and just generally speaking has the emotional and intellectual capacity of an 8 year old.

        I would go on but I think you get the idea.

        Quite literally by the time I was a preteen I was placed into an advanced education track at my middle school, and would come home to my entire family having insane emotional breakdowns and fights with each other all the time, and I actually just went online and to the library, learned basic psychology and would have to stop all their arguments via de escalation and leading group therapy sessions, basically everyday, until I gave up and just moved the family computer into my room and put headphones on.

        Took me 34 years and nearly dying many times now to realize my family has always been completely insane, and they are incapable of changing.

        • nomad
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          146 months ago

          This is not a healthy environment for neurotypical people. You are basically Matilda. ;) I hope you find a safe home and safe space and keep away from these people.

          • @vexikron@lemmy.zip
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            6 months ago

            Hah, Matilda, no one has ever called me that before. =)

            Yeah, I plan on never speaking to any of them ever again. I would prefer they think I am dead, as they are dead to me.

            Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:

            Autistic people are neurodiverse, as well as I think uh ADHD and schizoid types and i think there is one other major one.

            Normies are neurotypical, lol.

            • @ThoGot@lemm.ee
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              46 months ago

              Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:

              Autistic people are neurodiverse

              Akshually, its ‘neurodivergent’.

              Sorry 😭

            • nomad
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              26 months ago

              Yeah I was gonna say its not healthy for neurotypical people, let alone someone nerodivergent like you. :)

  • @franzfurdinand@lemmy.world
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    276 months ago

    Honestly, not really. I experienced something traumatic on Christmas eve of 2017 and have never completely recovered. I’ll probably never get back to where I was before that.

    It really used to be my favorite day of the year but now it’s just raw and awful and I have to keep up appearances so I’m not a miserable person to be around. I really don’t want to be that way, I’m generally a pretty easygoing, easy to get along with kinda guy so I hate the shift that I make.

    • Dr. CoomerOP
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      76 months ago

      I’m sorry to hear. Have you tried talking to your family/friends about it? I’m sure they would be understanding and try to help you the way I wish I could.

      • @franzfurdinand@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I’ve talked to some friends about it, but honestly it’s probably ground I need to tread with a therapist. I thought I had a good handle on it but this year has been particularly tough for some reason.

        Thank you, though, I appreciate the sentiment!

        • Dr. CoomerOP
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          56 months ago

          Your welcome. If you can, please do see someone about it. It’s better to talk about it than to let it build.

          • @franzfurdinand@lemmy.world
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            66 months ago

            I’ve talked to a therapist in the past - not about this, but about the rest of the abuse that was heaped on me during that time. It did help some.

            You’re right, and it’s very similar advice my friends gave me. The hard part is finding the time and energy together to let me do it.

  • Match!!
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    236 months ago

    I’m actually doing really well (but I’m getting some survivor’s guilt from that)

  • @UnHidden@lemmy.world
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    226 months ago

    Sadly not. I still have no friends, and no one to talk to. I recently escaped from being literal forced labor for a gang, and am now trying to put life back together without telling my family.

    My family are all very catholic, and they’d want my head on a stick if they knew I was stuck working for a gang, despite it being against my will.

    Christmas is gonna be hard, because I’ll have to resist the urge to let out those emotions, as they’re the only people I talk to. Still looking for a good friend :(

    • @UnHidden@lemmy.world
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      96 months ago

      I don’t have a great relationship with my family, so it makes it even harder around christmas times. I’m a paranoid introvert in need of friends, and trust is hard to come by, so stress builds up until I freak out because I have no one to share any ideas or life stories with. No one to keep me level headed and make sure I’m okay, and no one for me to care about. Still looking for that one good friend to come along…

  • miz_elektro
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    216 months ago

    Just got the news last week that my dad, who was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in October, might have 5-7 months left. Plus my mom is slowly dying from COPD. I’m trying to stay positive and spend what might be the last Christmas we get with them. But to say I’m not feeling the happy new year vibes is an understatement. Only death and more depression coming in 2024.

    • Dr. CoomerOP
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      106 months ago

      I’m sorry for you. Spend what time you have left with them, make memories, it’s better to have loved them than not at all. I wish you the best.

  • Entropy
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    196 months ago

    My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me on Sunday, she’s the love of my life (have known each other far longer than 2 years). We have a child together, I don’t know what to do about it.

    I’m trying to talk to her and discuss how we can work through it, I don’t know if it’s going to work.

    Keep your fingers crossed for me I guess?

    I also haven’t eaten or slept properly since, I’m starving but I can’t actually put food in my mouth.

    • Dr. CoomerOP
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      126 months ago

      Firstly, you need to eat and sleep, you can’t solve anything if you don’t have the energy for it. Make it simple like some soup or chicken. Your girlfriend might need some space or time to think, be patient with her. At the very least, keep goog terms with her and agree to take care of the kid, even if you don’t live together.

      • Entropy
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        96 months ago

        I’ve done all of this as best I can, but I’m struggling with the eating and sleeping. I’m doing my best though.

        • @GeoGio7@lemmy.world
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          46 months ago

          That sounds so tough man. You’re in my thoughts, I don’t know what else to say. I hope you get all the strength and happiness you need.

    • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      6 months ago

      Sometimes things just fall apart. Do you mourn her, or do you mourn her love more?

      If it’s her, then I hope you guys can work something it out.

      If you mourn her love, then I think you’re feeling the loss of a shared future you had planned together. This hurts hard, I know, but will get better with time once you realise that you mourn the idea of her. You can and will find that with someone else, and then she will just be your ex that you have fond memories with, who you see once a week to pick up the kids, whilst you build a new future with your new partner.

      • Entropy
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        26 months ago

        It’s her I miss, beyond any doubts. I’m fighting like hell to work something out, but also trying to give her some space, it’s difficult finding the right balance between the two.

  • @golden_zealot@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    Fuck no, I have 4 years of industry experience and my industry is basically falling apart. I haven’t been able to find work since March. Even construction labour jobs requiring no experience wont call me back. If I cant make something work soon I might just decide to french kiss an electrical socket.

    • Dr. CoomerOP
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      06 months ago

      Please don’t do that. I know it would be hard to, but maybe try looking for a different carrer path if you can. Just don’t give up, please.

      • @golden_zealot@lemmy.ml
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        136 months ago

        The horror isn’t in killing yourself, the horror is living in hell so that other people can feel good that you’re suffering instead of dead.

    • @hactar42@lemmy.world
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      06 months ago

      Unless you are in retail, this is the worst time of year for find work. Just wait until everyone gets back in the office after the new year and you should see a lot more opportunities and responses. Just hold on man.

      • Seraph
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        126 months ago

        Expects everyone else to open up - gives you a canned answer.

        Kidding OP; some sympathy can go a long way so this was nice of you.

  • Trollivier
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    6 months ago

    2023 has been a calamity for me. I lost my best friend and business partner to cancer in March. Then, the mourning. The burnout. The psychologist. The antidepressants.

    I then had a diverticulitis, ended up at the hospital. I reacted badly to an antidepressant, ended up at the hospital. Had a problematic mole in my lower back, got it removed, sent it to biopsy… Didn’t remove enough, remove the rest, and the wound isn’t healing properly and got infected.

    Just since Halloween, I started coughing with lots of secretion, until my asthma came back first time in 15 years, and I coughed so hard for a month and a half, I ended up cracking a rib.

    Then I got an acute middle ear infection, that lasted 2 weeks, the pain was excruciating.

    Now, I still can’t hear from that ear it’s clogged. I stopped coughing. My antidepressant is doing an ok job.

    I just want a break from life. I had to take 2 weeks off work completely early in December for my physical and mental health. First time I have to do that in my life.

    • Lenny
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      86 months ago

      Fuck, that sounds like a ridiculous amount of shite. Hopefully life balances out just up ahead.

  • @AmosBurton_ThatGuy@lemmy.ca
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    156 months ago

    No. I drink every other day at least (not wasted, but a good buzz), I have no friends anymore cause they’ve all got familes and responsibilities, or they’ve left the frozen wasteland that is northern Canada. I’m 30 and I live with my mom and brother cause she works part time and couldn’t afford to live on her own, and I couldn’t afford to live on my own either even though I make $22 an hour, which also means no decent woman would consider coming anywhere near me. My mom is amazing but it fucking sucks being a 30 year old man and having a room right across from her.

    My rent went from 1800 in 2017-2022 for a 3 bedroom to 3 fucking grand for a much worse 3 bedroom because we got renovicted from our old place. The new landlord is basically a slum lord, no doorknob on the downstairs bathroom, no heat in my room, no fan and mold growing in the upstairs bathroom, toilets that clog constantly, shit insolation in a city that can get as cold as - 40C during the dead of winter, no door at all on my brothers room, lots of garbage left in the backyard from the previous tenant that was supposed to be removed by the landlord within a week of moving in (now a year and a half later) and a shit local government that just a month ago gave subsidies to landlords as an apology for rent control being implemented.

    On top of that it feels like the world is moving increasingly towards fucking people near the bottom of society like me more and more as I get older. I have basically no hope left. I work my ass off at every job I have, rarely it pays off with promotions and small raises, but I’ve yet to get a truly good increase that raises my standard of life significantly. I try my best, I truly do. One of the few things I can be proud of is that I’m consistently known as a great worker, but it’s a roll of the dice whether you’re gonna get a boss that values that or just tries to take advantage of your work ethic. Feels like no matter how hard I try, I can’t move forward. I get a better job with more money? Oh rent has massively gone up, groceries and gas have gone up, fucking everything has gone up in price. I get more money and every fucking greedy piece of shit has their hands out demanding more money for the essentials of life so I just languish in permenant fucking mediocrity.

    I’ve gained 30 lbs over the last year due to drinking and depression, I built an awesome new pc last year but I barely use it for more than watching videos cause nothing gives me joy anymore. I used to at least be able to get some amount of joy out of playing games, but now nothing makes me happy. I literally wish I could get cancer so that I can die free of guilt. I’m not suicidal, I could never do that to my parents and brother. But every day I wish something would happen that takes me out of my miserable existence. I hate the world and I hate my pathetic fucking life.