A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in Trader Vic’s, I was enjoying a mai tai, when my pal Warren Beatty comes in. He wishes me well, and we have a little chat.
Seems he was attached to star in ‘Zulu Empire,’ which was gonna anchor that MGM slate, but Warren confided in me that the picture’s gone over budget because the Zulu extras want to unionize. They may be cannibals, but they want health and dental. Which means the movie’s kaput, so the MGM deal ain’t gonna happen, and your script ain’t worth the buffalo shit on a nickel.
So the way it looks to me, through the cataracts I grant you, is that you can either sign here and take ten thousand dollars for your toilet paper script, or you can go fuck yourself! With all due respect.

Rest in peace, you magnificent bastard.