So, this friend that I’ve talked about, Maxine, is a mess. She thought she was trans at one point but then detransitioned and went from a very fun but slightly rude lesbian who quotes memes and movies to a very devout, straight Christian girl. She constantly harps on about how Trump is making egg prices lower and how at least Trump is doing XYZ. She has somewhat traditional views and thinks it’s alright to beat children because it’s “discipline”.
She treated me like a child because of my autism and called me a retard and told me to go away and expects me to forgive her. She continues to be friends with bullies and stalkers as well, even though she did defend me from being bullied at one point, which is why I think I might be TA.
She sounds like a horrid mess. There are so many better people out there. You will make more, better friends.
It’s ok to walk away when someone treats you like that. Sounds like they have changed for the worse, and it’s possible to mourn the person they were while also never interacting with them again.
no, she kinda sucks.
She thought she was trans at one point but then detransitioned
As a trans person myself, I’m happy for her! Don’t think she should be criticzed for this, much less hated. Girl experimented, changed her comfort zone and then decided it wasn’t for her. This sort of behavior should be celebrated! As long as she isn’t using her time as a club to be transphobic, then rock on! I wish more people were critical of their identity beyond the one they grew up with.
She constantly harps on about how Trump is making egg prices lower and how at least Trump is doing XYZ.
Okay but this shit is unforgivable. I’d stop talking to her a long time ago for supporting that orange pile of rapey corrupt bigotry. Bad person for sure.
Why are you even spending enough time on her to write this out?
NTA
She’s taken the time to figure herself out and she figured out she wants to be a bully. You’re not an asshole for judging her choices. She’s an asshole for making them.
Whether she is an Asshole or not doesn’t matter. If she makes you feel bad when you are with her then she isn’t worth hanging around with. But she does seem like an asshole.
Also to note here that Not Being an Asshole isn’t some award you win and then gives you lifetime immunity. If she is being mean now, then she is an asshole even if she wasn’t an asshole at some point in the past. In the same way that being an asshole doesn’t make you an asshole for life. We need to all continue to strive to be not an asshole.
Your ex-friend is a “pick me” with no actual identity.
That makes sense, unfortunately she became friends with bullies
If you’re going to break it off I recommend leaving peacefully and quietly. No drama, no text message breakup, no social media blast. Just organically drift apart. Say you cant make it, Got other plans, stub toe real bad, tic bite, etc.
If you consider to stay, think hard about what you are getting out of this relationship. its massive simplification but If you can define Human relationships like bank accounts, she “deposits” by defending you from bullies but she is also “withdrawing” by bullying herself. Some point if you feel its negative then there is no benefit and you are better off without. Maybe this is a phase like her previous iterations but is it worth it for you to find out? Being the positive influence in a sea of bad is something I try to do with my brother who’s similar situation but that’s because I still think redemption is possible. But I knew my father had 0 chance of that so discard pile he went.
You are most definitely not an asshole for thinking that this person shouldn’t be in your life. They are an absolutely toxic individual and will only cause you more distress as time goes on. You need to take care of yourself OP and be ok with permanently disassociating from them for your own mental health.
