Meh, should have gone with:

alias sex “updatedb; locate; talk; date; cd; strip; look; touch; finger; unzip; uptime; gawk; head; apt-get install condom; mount; fsck; gasp; more; yes; yes; yes; more; umount; apt-get remove --purge condom; make clean; sleep”

not a single mention of notcurses-demo

$ while true; do echo "$(date '+%D %T' | toilet -f term -F border --gay)"; sleep 1; done

Ok, that got a chuckle out of me.

Whimsical article