I’m 20F, he’s 25M. We met in January and have been dating since last month. He’s already met my parents - they love him, and he hangs out at our house all the time. Literally no one has any issues with him, he’s super welcome here. I invited him to sleep over for a few days this week just for fun, but he said he’s not comfortable with it - apparently it feels too “intimate” for him? Like, he’s got this thing about doing private stuff with other people around. I just want him to relax a bit. We’re all adults here, and everyone knows people have private lives. How can I help him feel more okay with it?

  • expr@programming.dev
    223·
    10 hours ago

    It’s perfectly reasonable to not want to sleep over at your parents’ house after only a month of dating. To be honest, it’s reasonable to not ever want to do that. It’s weird sleeping in someone else’s house period.

    But especially after just a month of dating, your parents may as well be strangers to him. He likely doesn’t have any sense for any cultural differences between how he was raised and your family, like what behaviors are considered faux pas to your parents, etc.

    To be honest I think you’re really getting ahead of yourself. Take your time with the relationship and build trust and the foundations of a great relationship. It always takes time and patience. You guys are still just starting to learn about each other.

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      1 hour ago

      I totally agree with this analysis. There are also so many factors that we don’t know about. The age difference alone could be awkward, he is drinking age, she is not. He might go for a night cap before bed, and be double so inclined being in a strange environment. But she might not be able to legally drink, yet he can, and maybe her parents are teetotalers… who knows?

      Or maybe he usually sleeps with a CPAP, and didn’t want to bring it up early in the relationship.

      Or it could not even be about night at all. Maybe he responds poorly to mornings. Or often has a flare up of IBS or something in mornings.

      There could be all sorts of issues people may have… And I am mostly highlighting outliers not more common things like social anxiety.