Sorry bud. It sounds like an internal thing slowing you down and external things causing a defeating blow. Im a elder millennial and I know how that goes. It’s been one garbage event after another since highschool. All you can do is keep pushing and focus on incremental success so you get some endorphins flowing. I started with exercise. Did I meet my little goals? Fuck yeah every day because my goal was to work out. If my goal was to lift my body weight I’d still be starving for endorphins.