Keep in mind that this happens in many (specially “romance”) languages, because such gender is grammatical, not literal (unlike in English, where he and she are very much so). For example, in Portuguese (my native language), I can refer to a person as a “pessoa” (“feminine” word gender) — and I can use this to make a grammatically correct, gender-neutral sentence: Ela (essa pessoa) parece bastante simpática. (That person seems quite nice.)
It does not assume gender, as previously mentioned. Since English does not follow the same rules (he/him and she/her refer to actual gender), you can optionally avoid using they/them by using that person’s name (or pseudononym): “thatonecoder has some cool projects, although they (the projects) seem to have some flaws. That user seems to be nice, so I might point out some of those issues, in a respectful manner!” (yes, oddly specific example, but I am not very creative, and this gave some ways to refer to a specific person without either using they/them, he/him, or she/her.
Keep in mind that this happens in many (specially “romance”) languages, because such gender is grammatical, not literal (unlike in English, where he and she are very much so). For example, in Portuguese (my native language), I can refer to a person as a “pessoa” (“feminine” word gender) — and I can use this to make a grammatically correct, gender-neutral sentence: Ela (essa pessoa) parece bastante simpática. (That person seems quite nice.)
It does not assume gender, as previously mentioned. Since English does not follow the same rules (he/him and she/her refer to actual gender), you can optionally avoid using they/them by using that person’s name (or pseudononym): “thatonecoder has some cool projects, although they (the projects) seem to have some flaws. That user seems to be nice, so I might point out some of those issues, in a respectful manner!” (yes, oddly specific example, but I am not very creative, and this gave some ways to refer to a specific person without either using they/them, he/him, or she/her.
Although this video isn’t made by me, it is particularly insightful, so I thought I’d share it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf-R7UywbXU
Sorry about this essay, but I really wanted to point this out! If you do have any questions, feel free to ask them!
You’re replying to someone with AuADHD. I generally have to edit down things before I post and still end up with a fucking novel :D
Thank you for the long and thoughtful reply.
Thanks for your reply, too! I wish every person was as nice as you — sadly, the world is still fucked up, and will remain so, for a long while…