I’ve heard several stories about couples that suddenly stop having sex, start snapping at each other for stupid bs, your girlfriend who was so sweet and supporting becomes her mother, a raging, yelling psychopath, looking for excuses to be passive aggressive, inviting her friends back home when all you want to do is rest after your workday, your boyfriend, so passionate about you is suddenly cold towards you and wants to be left alone. Before having a child you were inseparable, now it’s like you hate each other and rant about your loved one with your friends…

I couldn’t survive such a radical personality change.

Does this phase eventually runs its course?

How do you find the mental fortitude to ignore the stupid bs your partner does or says?

How would you describe love to your partner a year after having a baby?

Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?

  • kmartburrito@lemmy.world
    11·
    9 hours ago

    I think part of it is maybe people change or are shocked by the realization of the immediate added responsibility, but also remember that you’re certainly not going to sleep as much, like ever again. Losing sleep regularly when you had so much control over your sleeping habits is really impactful to your mental state.

    My wife and I didn’t really get angry with each other or change our behavior towards each other, but we definitely were much more tired. At the same time though, you have this wonderful little person that you are shaping (that shits and eats ALL the time) - it’s a massive change of routine. People inherently don’t like change.

    I feel a lot of what you’re afraid of stems from this. Just ensure that you both go into it knowing you will need each other to support each other. Do it as a team, share the responsibilities, and truly enjoy those moments because they go by SO fucking fast.

    Treat it like a marathon and not a sprint. Compete with each other to be the first to apologize and diffuse the situation when things get heated. Marriage isn’t easy, but it can be rewarding to share that part with your better half.

    I hope you figure out how to weather your storm! It’s an amazing thing to see them grow up and to be there every step of the way as a team.