I’m now imagining a bundle of 2x4s vertically sticking up 6 feet.

I think I’ve only once or twice had something not fit the hatchback because the roof was too low. And those items wouldn’t have fit in a 3-4 foot bed either. Plus a proper hatchback should have roof racks to put oversize cargo on anyway.

I’m not arguing a 5+ foot bed isn’t better than a hatch (my 97 Taco with 6 foot bed comes in handy sometimes), but the shorty beds make me laugh.