Way to go with meeting your needs! I know how hard that is - my mom also trained me to put myself second, and treats me as an extension of herself. I recently (within the last year) realized that not only do I not reach out for help when I need it, but I don’t even recognize when I need help. It took my old manager seeing I was stressed and saying she wanted to help me, but that she’s “not a mind-reader” and I have to actually ask her for it, for me to step back and realize that my approach isn’t typical. It turns out I’m so accustomed to having to go through shit entirely by myself, that the thought that somebody else might be able to help doesn’t even occur to me.

By coincidence, guess who dismissed me as a child anytime I went to her for help? Yep, dear ol’ Mommy, telling me shit like “you’re just too sensitive” and “the bullies won’t remember [that awful rumor they made up and are currently spreading against me] years from now.” Mmhmm, surefire solutions right there that definitely demonstrate concern and understanding of my issues.

Why yes, I am still bitter, why do you ask?