Most other people who you interact with aren’t actually seeing you individually. Instead they are confronting images they’ve previously developed regarding one or two characteristics they noticed. Don’t take what they say too personally.
Yeah, this is a very real phenomenon and it’s difficult to do anything about it sometimes. People develope an internal profile of you based on their perceptions, and anything they say about you is based on THAT, not reality. It’s even more difficult when it’s somebody close to you who’s internalized that profile so much it’s become part of who they identify as. You’ll see this with the parents of trans kids where the parent has internalized some aspect of their child and it’s become part of their identity. “I’m the father of three sons” kind of thing. Then one of the kids comes out as female and the parent has a really difficult time with it because they identified themselves as the parent of three male children and that’s turned out to be incorrect, they’re the parent of two boys and one girl and they need to change how they identify themselves in addition to how they identify their daughter. Some parents have a really REALLY hard time of it (they still gotta do it though if they don’t want to be a shitty person)
Most other people who you interact with aren’t actually seeing you individually. Instead they are confronting images they’ve previously developed regarding one or two characteristics they noticed. Don’t take what they say too personally.
Edit: Be aware that you do the same thing.
Yeah, this is a very real phenomenon and it’s difficult to do anything about it sometimes. People develope an internal profile of you based on their perceptions, and anything they say about you is based on THAT, not reality. It’s even more difficult when it’s somebody close to you who’s internalized that profile so much it’s become part of who they identify as. You’ll see this with the parents of trans kids where the parent has internalized some aspect of their child and it’s become part of their identity. “I’m the father of three sons” kind of thing. Then one of the kids comes out as female and the parent has a really difficult time with it because they identified themselves as the parent of three male children and that’s turned out to be incorrect, they’re the parent of two boys and one girl and they need to change how they identify themselves in addition to how they identify their daughter. Some parents have a really REALLY hard time of it (they still gotta do it though if they don’t want to be a shitty person)