I need major help with this. I am stagnating in life, I don’t know where to go next due to this issue.

The things I like to do (in cycles bc, as title said i dont stick to hobbies) are always something super competitive or don’t make any money. I like to learn, so I dive into all sorts of hobbies like coding, 3D art, vfx, video game development, a whole bunch of random things (but are generally about creation).

I do not have the ambition, motivation, or lasting interest to pursue just one of these things, ESPECIALLY not as a career. If I pick a career path based on a passing interest, I will hate my career and become even more depressed, and honestly just quit no matter the consequences (ive done this with jobs). I literally will pour hours of dedication into learning something random like coding (on this right now), and drop it next week like I never touched it and move on to another thing. I cant force myself to go back to it, either. This is a painful process to me, it’s as though my learning is all in vain as I let my knowledge fade away, and worse, this makes it so I CANNOT settle on a career.

If anyone has any advice for me, I am open to every and all suggestions. If you have been through similar and got through it, please let me know how. I do take adderall btw.

edit: thank you all for your thoughtful responses, i have read them and i do plan on answering as soon as i have the time! thank you guys so so much 💜

#adhd

  • DJDarren@kbin.social
    14·
    1 year ago

    Something my wife once told me that really stuck with was;

    Your job is just how you afford to pay for the things you like to do.

    And that really helped me to reframe how I view my working life.

    At the time I was a welder, earning reasonable, but not mind-blowing money, doing a job that I never really liked. I hated coming home filthy every night, I hated sweating my arse off during the warm months, freezing it off when it was cold, because you can’t carry out my line of work in an air conditioned office. After she told me that, it helped me to look at my work life from a different angle, which bizarrely had the effect of chilling me the fuck out, to the point that, while I didn’t love what I was doing, I came to accept that I was good at it. And if I didn’t like it, I had the power to find a job doing something else. Hell, I could stack shelves at a supermarket for only a little less than I was earning at the time.

    Then I got promoted into the office, because that mindset change apparently made me a more reliable worker.

    I’ve been with this company for five years now, and have managed to wiggle into a space where my job is neither one thing nor another. One day I’ll be devising training plans for the guys on the shop floor, the next I’m creating valuable documentation that they need, then I’m helping out the Health & Safety manager with audits. And while I don’t love working here, I’ve finally got to a place where I can see a future where I’m not in my 60s, clambering about under rusty old railway wagons, welding up cracks, fucking my back and knees.

    • minnieo@kbin.socialOP
      5·
      1 year ago

      i love this advice, jobs just pay for me to live the life close to how i wanna live. i understand that getting a job i actually like is slim to none in this world, i just ask that its bearable. i agree totally with your advice, i think i could do okay in such a situation if i kept taking my medication and it paid good enough to support myself (which jobs dont seem to do anymore). my main issue then is, which do i go for? i truly have 0 clue what direction to point in at this point in time. i love art and creation but i refuse to pursue something so unstable. that leaves the options for ‘careers that get you by’ wiiiide open. i also dont wanna be in school forever. soo much to consider, but im rambling now lol. thanks for your advice, it struck a cord with me 💜

      • DJDarren@kbin.social
        2·
        1 year ago

        I’m glad you were able to take something from my comment.

        If I might suggest; perhaps you’re overthinking somewhat? Think about where your skills lie, and think about what that enables you to do, then approach a job that makes the most of you at this moment in time.

        That job might only see you through the next six months, but the experience you gain from it will carry you into wherever you go next. And so on, and so on… And that’s fine. We tend to strive for a career because we’ve been trained to see that as the most profitable way of being, an attempt to set in stone the next 40/50 years of our lives in as predictable way as possible. And that worked fine for our parents and grandparents, but isn’t necessarily the case now.

        So whatever you’re doing a year from now might not be what you’re doing in five years. But as long as your bills are paid, and you’re able to live in this world, then that’s ok.

      • Mintyytea@kbin.social
        1·
        1 year ago

        Is there any class in school you’ve done that’s been sustainable for you? If you feel like coding/art is more like a hobby and you don’t want to be stuck doing it forever, maybe there’s something else out there for you that you’d feel content working on a little every day.

        If you’re worried about coding as a job from competitiveness though, I think don’t worry too much about it. It’ll work out if you just try your best. Even you doing coding for fun is pretty cool :o