30 year old male, divorced last year after 9 years. Got dumped because I drink too much apparently. She was supposed to move back to her home country but ended up staying in this city.

I’m a member of the music scene and so is she so all my friends are her friends. So naturally because I’m not the pretty one, she gets all sympathy and I’m now a lonely motherfucker rejected by a lot of people I once called friends.

She hooked up with a dude who is an actual drug addict and last night. While trying to watch the band, they’re making out like 5ft behind me. I shouldnt care because these people are quite literally losers compared to me but I guess I’m jealous someone cares about her and nobody cares about me.

When I went home last night alone I actually thought about ending things. I don’t really know what to do going forwards. Do I just end my hobby of music because I can’t deal with my jealousy? Every gig she is there and she’s got a line of guys wanting to be with her while I’m left to rot alone.

Should I sell my house and quit my job and move? That’s what I was up all night pondering. I feel as if this place is too small for the both of us, and she won.

  • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    2·
    2 days ago

    Sorry for following you to this post - commented on your most recent one but been thinking about your situation, partially 'cause I used to live in the city you’re talking about. Scene is small and tight-knit, so I get the problem here.

    Just a thought - what does your band think about some touring this summer, possibly as an opener for some buddies? Obviously kinda last minute at this stage, but if you guys are interested and can swing it, I think it might be good for you. It could get you off the island for a bit, still playing music with a much smaller chance of her being in the audience.

    Just some food for thought. Leaning into the hobby in a new environment for a bit might be the move.

    • rabber@lemmy.caOPEnglish
      2·
      2 days ago

      Unfortunately I’m not in a band at the moment but it’s a killer proposition bro

      I’m just going to take a break from the music scene and that’s OK. I’ve seen hundreds of metal shows all over the world and they’ll still be there when I’m ready to return

      In the meantime I’m working on my solo black metal project which is Klondike gold rush themed, lol

      • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        Fair enough - you’re right, the scene isn’t going anywhere, take the time you need.

        Hang in there man - and I better see a link to Bandcamp or something on here when you get your solo project where you want it to be! :) All the best.