Putting a spoiler because fuck people’s uninformed opinions on what can be “cured” but if you want to know where they are coming from heres the tldr
tldr
- 31% people surveyed thought asexuality can be cured with therapy
- 27% thought asexual people haven’t found the right person yet.
People need to leave the 1% of the population alone.
They can fuck right off. Especially on International Asexuality day.
When I first realized I was ace, I brought it up to my therapist at the time because I was having so many issues in my relationships around sex and I wanted help exploring it. She laughed at me, and told me there was no way I was asexual because I had been in sexual relationships. I never even got the chance to talk about how suicidal I felt every single time I had sex. I know some of that ideation is because I never initiated, and was often blindsided by it, which should have been an indication to her that I am ace.
About six years later I had a more complete diagnostic appointment, and one of the things I was diagnosed with is a sensory disorder. I knew that was coming because I’m extremely sensitive to some things like sound or scent, but the doctor explained that it can affect me in other ways such that I might have an extreme emotional imbalance after an intense sensory event. The sudden drop off of sensory input, and the chasm that builds as the other person withdraws is like a one-two punch. Here I’ve gone through something that is extremely uncomfortable in many ways for someone else, and they don’t have a clue or care that I’m drowning in despair afterwards.
Yeah, I could probably do some therapy about that last bit. But it won’t change the fact that I have no interest in the act in the first place, and it’s a lot easier to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t hurt that you don’t want to mix bodily fluids.
