I didn’t like the filter. I shouldn’t have to submit a photo of my arm to “prove” I am mixed with black, my skin tone also isn’t dark so I might as well be lying. I never participated because of the filter, it brings up painful memories surrounding my heritage and skin tone and childhood. I think it’s an odd choice to prevent most of reddit from commenting and preserve a safe place. I get that it cut down on racists, still don’t feel comfortable about it. I don’t know what other tests they put people through, the photo test was the one talked about a lot.

There is an ally flair I remember seeing but I don’t want it. I don’t want a label because if I say I’m mostly Latino, I’ve had people tell me that makes me white and not a POC and will never know what racism is and I get basically shut out. But also I’ve had people, even family members, be racist to me about being mixed with black. I guess I don’t belong in the conversation.

I’ve also had run ins with some of the black power mods, yellow rose, and she expressed not wanting me to participate at all because I believe while white people can’t be systematically oppressed the same way in America, you can still be racist to them. She runs the main sub about racism on reddit, they only talk about white supremacy because that’s the only type of racism in their minds. It makes me just not want to talk about my experiences because they aren’t valid. I will never be black enough or white enough or Latino enough.