Let’s try this again: If, as you say “women do empathy, men do resilience”, then why should childcare be 70:30? Why not 50:50 so the kids get taught empathy and resilience in equal measure? Also, how can you even be empathetic if you lack in the resilience department.

It would’ve been smarter of those companies to replace the bosses with AI.

You are completely overthinking it. I readily acknowledged it is reductive. And my example was an example, a vibe. I do not, in fact, fish. Nor consider desert dwellers to be less masculine or something.

A typical male experience in a hetero relationship is that women are overly fussy over many things, I think most of it is culture (a generalised fear of a catty mother in law not considering you good enough for her son causing a fear of losing your partner because he might listen to her instead of you) so when we hear “men are simple” we don’t hear “men are stupid” but “finally, someone who understands the pointlessness of having seasonal napkins”. If you wanted to say “men are stupid” you’d have said “men are primitive”, it’s not hard to tell apart. We do, in fact, have social and contextual awareness, I freely admit that we use obliviousness as a conscious strategy.

Are there men who are totally into decorative towels? Sure, but if we hedge everything with “but not everyone does that”, “of course, all people are unique and different” then communication becomes a chore. It’s like hearing “sunscreen is important” and insisting “of course, if it’s winter that’s a different issue, we wouldn’t want to essentialise weather to be carcinogenic”. Come on.

And our interaction here, ironically, falls into a similar pattern. “No, really, it’s fine that we don’t have decorative towels” – “There must be a deeper meaning behind this, a social force, someone pulling his strings, why would anyone not want to have complex things like decorative towels, what is the meaning of this, am I on top of the situation”… no. He meant what he said, exactly that, and nothing more: My hands are dry, the towels didn’t make them dirty again, that’s all I need from a towel. I want my pants to have pockets so I buy them with pockets instead of worrying whether they ruin the silhouette and agonising over compromises. There’s a lot of freedom in simplicity. That inner mother in law, though? Of course everything is complicated, how else would she be able to drive you crazy.

I’ve got a song for you.

“men are simple creatures”, “keep your belly fully and balls empty and we’re happy” ect, like, is that not demeaning to men?

Personally, not inherently, no. And definitely not in context, context here being the existence of “men are primitive” and “men only want one thing and it’s disgusting”. Is it reductive, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Catch some fish, chop some wood, smoke the critters, unclog the sink so that stubbles will actually flush instead of cling to the rim, annoying the wife (for incomprehensible reasons, but a well-functioning drain is its own reward), be a rollercoaster for the kids, kick back on the sofa, get your balls emptied, if that’s not a satisfying day then you have issues.

Complexity is not a good in itself. Be only as complex as is necessary to stay simple.

No argument from me there but when I bought that 1500W kettle Amazon was still a book shop. I’m not saying that 15 Euro were a good price but it’s what I think REWE (as in the supermarket, do they still use that brand for physical stores?) sold it to me for because I couldn’t be arsed to make a trek into the city to visit a proper appliance store.

Drip machines make worse coffee and are more of a hassle than just dumping hot water into the filter holder all at once so I’ll chalk it up to abysmal US coffee culture combined with consumerism, then.

If kettles were continuous loads we’d have to reduce from 16A to 10A (2200W) or 8A (1800W). Schuko are rated for as little as 1h of 16A but for a kettle that’s plenty, they’re done in a minute or two.

German stoves are connected to at least 2x10A, newer installations (as in since the 70s or such) all provide 3x16A. Not actually three-phase they’re still 220V appliances. Whether the outlets, light etc. are on different phases differs widely.

I guess you think also men are equally good at giving birth and breastfeeding?

No I think you’re better at putting words in my mouth than I am – allegedly – at putting words in yours. Speak about going to extremes to attempt to prove a point.

Not the ones I was thinking of. Great, you found a cheap kettle at mediamarkt, good for you. Here’s a 1500W one, also not the one I was thinking of. I was thinking of one I once had. The one that’s the reason why my current one is 3000W and wide enough to not risk tipping over.

but why would I want to put the burden of getting the kids in check with my wife when I am supposed to be the man in the house?

You want to be a housekeeper? More power to you then but if your wife is an engineer and earns the money why do you suppose she can’t teach kids about it?

She’s the housekeeper and does tell the kids “just wait until your father gets home”? She’s training them to hate you, alienate them from you, that’s a giant red flag. Make sure to connect up with them or you’re going to have a hard time in custody court.

As for the emotional part - women can teach kids empathy, men can teach kids not to cry immediately if you fall down once.

Nope. Both are very capable of doing both. Again: Please don’t project your hangups onto others. Female fainting is just as much a trained behaviour (ultimately, an act the actor believes themselves), as male callousness.

Whats the problem in gender roles, if it suits the people? Why force people into a different role, that they don’t want to be in?

I’m not forcing anyone here, it’s you who’s drawing lines in the sand, “men shall do this, women shall do that”.

Boys, on average, like to wrestle a hell a lot more than girls, are interested in mechanical things more, when playing they care about outside things. Girls, on average, develop their fine motor skills well before boys, and their play focusses on social scenarios, in a bounded (inside) context.

Let them learn in the order and manner as they see fit, that’s absolutely fine and natural. But you’re an adult, not a kid, your competencies should, by now, have expanded beyond that initial set and focus. If you’re under the impression that “women are better at this, men are better at that” then you’re either 12 and/or are living in a society which actively stifles human development.

They are, in fact, designed to resuscitate frozen hamsters.

Your first sentence is completely sensible, the rest is completely toxic and also BS gender roles. Don’t project your emotional and social incapacity on me.

If my wife were to tell my kids “wait until your father comes home” a) they’ll get off 110% scot-free because they already suffered enough dread and b) she’ll get an earful. Ideally, though, of course, you’ll date someone emotionally and socially mature enough so that won’t be an issue. Someone who can stand up for herself, is actually competent, and doesn’t make your kids hate you.

Also please explain: Women are good at emotional stuff but then you need the man to do the emotional resilience thing… what? I know plenty of women who I’m pretty sure could beat you up and work with plenty of brilliant female engineers, and are you accusing me of not caring. Am I just pretending to care about people? Does caring about people not come natural to you? Maybe that’s a thing you should mull over.

If that’s your take on this thread then you’re just as complicit as the rest of these incels.

It’s my take on my own contributions. Note that those didn’t include “defending some guy”, it really was an exhaustive list. How you managed to get that wrong in a post in which you apologised about getting something wrong is something you’ll have to ask your dead horse, I suppose.

Dadvocate would be a good source for this stuff especially if you don’t fancy your watch history to get infested by misogynists. Just a gal who doesn’t pull guard.

Lol, falsely conflating me telling you not to blame POC and women for late stage capitalism with telling you not to cry is pretty hilarious.

I did what?

What injustice are you facing that generations of women and immigrants haven’t been receiving the whole time?

I’ve been using this thread as an opportunity to talk about a positive example, and that’s the marked increase in male childcare workers in Germany. I pointed out some masculine influencers doing good work. I bemoaned that much “X for women/girls” stuff is half-assed feel-good BS, prone to causing more harm than good (because half-assed, because it’s done for optics instead of the thing itself).

I’ve been constructive. I didn’t lash out and try to put people down for caring about their issues. I didn’t wrap people up in ass-long back and forth threads demanding justification after justification why they care just to find an excuse to pounce, then ride my high horse into the sunset.

Oh, and I also shot the horse of some guy.

I’m nowhere close to being an LLM specialist but to actually skew the model itself I think you need a lot of consistent data. Ten thousand alt-right blogs peddling a hundred thousand internally inconsistent and mutually incompatible narratives won’t cut it, they’ll criss-cross over the gradient landscape and because they don’t coincide, won’t make a dent in the deep groves trodden by pirating libgen. And training only on the alt-right blogs won’t cut it either that’s just not enough data which on top of that doesn’t sound smart enough to woo anyone, or have any resemblance of a consistent stance. Sure you’ll get it to claim ridiculous shit and use lots of slurs but 4chan managed to do that back in 2016 and noone was fooled.

Oxygen content will differ which can actually make a difference when brewing tea.

I usually don’t drain my kettle but when I’m pulling out the yixing pot and good leaves, I’m using all fresh water and set the thermostat so that it’ll stop well before boiling.

A European 15 buck plastic kettle will likely also not pull more than 1500W. And probably only hold a litre. And still be overpriced.

Edison distributed ±110V DC against neutral, three wires, your AC system was designed to use those exact wires, then you expanded that compromise to the whole continent.

Europe in the beginning also had those small insular installations with odd systems but once it came to actually hooking up whole countries everyone opted for three-phase because it’s the most sensible option. Whether or not the distribution network itself uses three conductors (just the phases) or four (plus neutral, or combined earth+neutral) differs quite wildly. Train electricity is still a clusterfuck.

my kitchen has 15a outlets which is still 1800W

1800W are not out of the ordinary for water cookers in Europe but that’s definitely on the weak side. 3000 to 3200 is usually the maximum, probably because pulling the full 3600W would drastically increase the chances of tripping a fuse. My food processor is 600W and I might want to make a coffee while kneading dough.