• kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksM
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    1 year ago

    “I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this.”

    R.I.P. Mitch

    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My absolute favorite joke of his wasn’t even a real joke.

      Apparently Mitch was checking into a hotel and the receptionist asked for a credit card. Mitch being the guy he was he didn’t have a credit card. So he pulls out a big wad of cash and says “Nah man this will cover it”. So the receptionist is like “No sir, I need a credit card”. Mitch’s reaction was priceless. Apparently he replied “Nah man, this is what the card represents. That would be like if you hired a Frank Sinatra impersonator and the real Frank Sinatra showed up and you were like, ‘Nah we’re gonna go with the impersonator’”

      I forget who told that story but it always makes me laugh hard.

  • vettnerk@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    On a serious note, it happens to me often. We’re a small crew of field service employees, and our meals are covered when we’reout and about, so when it’s my time to get lunch, I need the receipt, and sometimes it lists donuts.

    On an even more serious note, that font really gives me a dyslexic attack. And I don’t even have dyslexia.

      • vettnerk@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        That’s usually what I do, but because of some bureaucratic reason I never understood, some projects don’t allow per diem, so we have to provide specifics instead.

    • VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.worksOPM
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      1 year ago

      I concur, that font the website uses are random.
      A friendly heads-up… I am finding a couple more of my favorite comedians with quotes. And the fonts again, out of my control. I will try to avoid the most visually itchy ones.

  • nodsocket@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Suppose you walked out of the donut shop and were accused of theft. Then the receipt would come in handy.

    • Mic_Check_One_Two@reddthat.com
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      1 year ago

      If you’re accused of a crime that happened across town while you were at the donut shop, you could prove that you were at the donut shop (and not at the scene of the crime) when the crime occurred.

      Aside from those two scenarios, that’s pretty much the only reasons you’d need a receipt for a donut.

      • GiantRobotTRex@lemmy.sdf.org
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        1 year ago

        The receipt proves that someone bought a donut but it doesn’t prove that you bought the donut.

        Imagine a scenario where someone buys a donut then heads across town. They commit a crime while their accomplice buys another donut. Then they swap receipts. They now have “proof” that they were at the donut shop at the time of the crime and may even be able to get the cashier to testify that they did indeed sell that person a donut that day.

        • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          And you can just walk right past them without doing so, they can’t do shit about it

          So not really useful in that scenario either

          • nodsocket@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            They can call the police for theft. I’d rather give them a receipt then deal with the police.

              • nodsocket@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Yes, Walmart can call the cops on suspected shoplifters. They even have their own security force to prevent shoplifting

                • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  1 year ago

                  Not showing the receipt is not good enough cause to call the cops for suspected shoplifting

                  This is very easy to Google and find out

        • Mic_Check_One_Two@reddthat.com
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          1 year ago

          What kind of department stores are you shopping in that have donut shops in the middle of them? And do you think they’d actually try to enforce a receipt check for a donut that you’ve already eaten and they have no way of knowing you bought (unless they watched you buy it, in which case they already know you paid for it.)

          Lastly, unless the store has some sort of membership program (like Costco or Sam’s Club) then you don’t actually have to stop for the receipt check. They can’t legally stop you from leaving, because it’s kidnapping if they try to stop you and you haven’t stolen anything.

          • nodsocket@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Costco and Walmart both sell donuts and ask for receipts. I don’t know if they would actually check for a small purchase but you never know.

            This is the most productive argument I’ve ever had.

            • Mic_Check_One_Two@reddthat.com
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              1 year ago

              Which is really just the first scenario (walking out of the donut shop and being accused of theft) in a trench coat. That scenario has already been covered, so my original “that’s pretty much the only two reasons” statement still applies.

              • nodsocket@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                OK, and I’m agreeing with you on that, but I think that those two reasons are important enough to be worth getting a receipt.

    • VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.worksOPM
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      1 year ago

      Me, I probably would have used my receipt to wipe the powdered sugar off to the side of my desk in a neat line and forget to clean it up-- What’s that officer? Yes I was here, but left to deposit large sums of cash to the bank befoe closing-- Drugs?! I don’t do drugs. Cocaine, wait a minute, is that the stuff that keeps you up, makes you all wirey and really really skinny?
      { Lifts shirt }
      COP: Sweet jesus. A beer gut like that needs decades to develop.
      😋

    • VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.worksOPM
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      1 year ago

      The post title one was my own. I should make time to find and watch his sets. Man is legend and I’ve never heard many of his material.